Earth-2 much of this nonsense

Not content with messing around with the main DC Universe, now the Bad Fanfic Brigade is looking to Earth-2, the home of the Golden Age characters. Back in the good old days (as it were), DC decided to take the old Justice Society of America characters and stuff them into another universe, where they and DC heroes from the time like Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman could age and grow. Things changed when the next DC runners decided they “we” couldn’t handle three universes (including “Earth-S”, where the Fawcett Publications characters like the Marvel Family were dropped off) and created the Crisis On Infinite Earths project, which as I’ve said before was a good story but a failed project thanks to a poor follow-up.

Now in the New 52, they’re bringing back Earth-2 rather than have the Justice Society in Earth-1, except for Power Girl and Huntress, which for some reason will be from Earth-2 but trapped on Earth-1 because….yeah, I’ve got nothing. At any rate at first I thought this might be a decent idea. After some of the more recent revelations, however, I’ve changed my mind.

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This is the first image we had for Huntress (outside of her mini-series) and Power Girl. Frankly, I kind of like Power Girl’s new outfit. I can take or leave the infamous “boob window”, but giving PG her own symbol make Kara/Karen her own superhero rather than someone who can’t decide who she is beyond “not Supergirl”. Although speaking of that, look behind our heroines and you’ll see two other heroines, the Earth-2 Supergirl and Robin who are actually Power Girl and Huntress. This is not the point where this turns into a “Death of DC” article. While my blogging colleague Jim Phoel of the website Draconic Versus thought this was a bad idea, I could see Bruce’s daughter following his “adopted” children in becoming the Boy Girl Wonder and I have no actual thought about Power Girl being Supergirl. No, the trouble began possibly with the variant cover to the one above for issue #1.

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This gave us our first look as to what the “Trinity” would be up to on our alternate earth. I think they missed an opportunity here by not going back to the classic costumes and making the title something for fans of the classic portrayals if not the previous continuity. You know, Luthor as the criminal mad scientist who only commits crimes to prove his superiority, where superheroes are treated as heroes rather than the treatment the X-Men get. Something that isn’t ripping off Marvel Comics and does what DC Comics used to do best before they decided to ape Watchmen.

Still, other than darkening Wonder Woman’s costume and what the heck did they do to Superman’s outfit (I’ll get into that when we reach SuperPowerGirl) it really doesn’t hit how bad this is going to be. Well, since we can’t have that, we started hearing more about Earth-2 and that’s when the fan started giving off a manure-like odor. The story will be written by James Robinson, the same guy who killed a kid in Cry For Justice and was happy with the negative press. I don’t care what he did with Starman since it’s a title I never cared about. I can’t look at his work without thinking of Lian Harper and Hal Jordan’s supposed three-way with two superheroines. At the time all he could give was this teaser:

“Earth 2 is a world that’s very like our own, but at the same time vastly different. It has known great conflict and danger…a dark menace defeated but at a great cost both to the Earth and to its superheroes of that time. Now, in the present as new menaces emerge to attack the Earth, so new heroes must emerge too, learning to work as a team (or perhaps Society is a better word) while facing these new threats head-on. Who are these heroes?  Will their powers include speed, bestial fury, and maybe even green light? Wait and see.”

We don’t even know what the current Earth-1 is like thanks to the New 52. How are we supposed to follow, or even care, about a world that’s different from the one we know. The MAIN CONTINUITY IS DIFFERENT FROM THE ONE WE KNEW! We aren’t even 10 issues into ANY title not part of the Johnny DC or Vertigo lines! However, in the last few weeks we’re learning more about the New Earth-2 52 NU Coocookatchu or however that’s spelled. I’d link to the DC Source blog articles, but thanks to the recent website redesign some of the articles are lost, the Robin/Huntress article is missing the picture and the Superman and Supergirl articles are missing altogether. That plus the links I made the night before no longer work. Way to fail, DC Entertainment. You ARE trying to promote this new series, right? Luckily the website Comic Booked has us covered. The earliest posting is the new look and story of Batman.

Visually…I’m kind of torn. Some it looks OK and some it (like the new gauntlets) just look silly. Then there’s the description of his story on Earth-2.

“Who will Batman kill to save his own daughter?” asks EARTH 2 editor Pat McCallum. “Right out of the gate that should tell you we’re dealing with a different kind of Dark Knight here. More ruthless, dangerous…the costume is familiar and yeah, there is a Wayne under the mask, but we’re looking at a man desperate to save the only family he has left. EARTH 2 is about to become a very bad place to be a bad guy.”

So Batman is taking a cue from Darkwing Duck? Anybody remember the episode where Gosalyn travels to the future, learns she was thought dead, and Darkwing went over the edge, becoming Darkwarrior Duck and ruling St. Canard with an iron fist? Yeah, that who they’re stealing from now, the Batman parody. And which Wayne is in there? Comic Booked speculated Bruce or his father, Thomas, and I’ve seen others suggest Damien, who is already a bit psycho to begin with (blame his mom and grandfather). For some reason, they decided that Huntress used to be Quiverwing Quack Robin of Earth-2. Here’s her pre-Huntress costume.

What is with those boots? I almost wish for Dick’s old elf shoes. Almost. Otherwise, outside of the gloves (again), I kind of like it. So what’s Helena’s story this time?

“Helena Wayne has been taught how to be the perfect Robin,” said James Robinson, writer of EARTH 2. “Assured as a detective, fighter, scientist, pilot and all around crime-fighter she’s been groomed by Batman to be the perfect caped manhunter (or should we say manHuntress) when she grows up.”

“Before coming to the main DCU Earth and taking up the mantle of Huntress, Helena Wayne fought crime alongside her father as the Robin to his Batman on Earth-2!” said WORLDS’ FINEST editor Wil Moss. “But how did she come to be on this Earth? And why did she decide to become Huntress? You’ll get some clues in next week’s HUNTRESS #6, but for the real scoop, pick up WORLDS’ FINEST #1!”

I’m still rather confused at this point. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s kind of stupid but meh. Then the “fun” starts with Wonder Woman in a costume that’s proof Jim Lee shouldn’t be doing Wonder Woman’s costume…actually never mind. You see it on the cover just fine and it doesn’t look all that different from her Earth-1 costume. So let’s just go right to how they screwed up her backstory.

“Due the events that open the saga of EARTH 2, Wonder Woman is already the last Amazon of this world and she is determined to avenge her sisters…at whatever cost,” said EARTH 2 writer James Robinson.

“How did Wonder Woman come to be the last of the Amazons?” asks EARTH 2 editor Pat McCallum. “It’s one of the mysteries we’ll be getting into with the series. While there will be recognizable faces and settings on EARTH 2, don’t for a moment think you’re on familiar ground. Do that, and you let your guard down…and then you’ll end up like the rest of the Amazons.”

So the Amazons are all dead and Diana is the lone survivor. Hey, give her amnesia and you have J. Michael’s run on Wonder Woman. I’m still searching for an original idea here, Mr. Robinson. Maybe we’ll have better luck with Super/Power Girl?

OK, sexy cosplay potential but not a whole lot to say here. Maybe when I see it in action like her cousin’s on the variant cover. What about the story?

“Superman’s cousin loves her adopted world with a passion, seeing how the people of Earth have adopted her and taken her to their hearts,” said EARTH 2 writer James Robinson. “She is the definitely brightest light among this first group of Earth 2 heroes.”

“Meet the Earth 2 Supergirl, aka Karen Starr,” said WORLDS’ FINEST editor Wil Moss. “As readers of MISTER TERRIFIC already know, Karen has been busy since she arrived on the main DCU Earth, creating a successful company and dating the brilliant Michael Holt. But what are her true motives behind those actions? How did she get here? And what incident prompts her to take up her new identity of Power Girl? Find out in WORLDS’ FINEST #1!”

So this is the Supergirl I wish Earth-1 had gotten. Too bad she won’t get as warm a reception on the new Earth-1, because we hates our heroes on Earth-616 Earth-1. Karen may actually be getting the best out of Earth-2 which makes what I’m expecting from Earth-1 all the more sadder. But what about her cousin? What happens to Kal-El in the new Earth-2? No sense posting that picture because it’s also in the variant cover. (You can’t see Batman’s as well, which is why I did post that.) I’m sorry, but the red shoulders and altered symbol doesn’t work as well for him as it does Kara. I do like the belt and there are parts of this I would rather see in the Earth-1 Superman but it just doesn’t work as well for him.

“Mourning the death of his beloved, Superman carries both a sadness in his heart along with the weight of Earth 2′s welfare upon on his shoulders, while never showing this and seeming to all that he is this world’s peerless champion,” said EARTH 2 writer James Robinson.

“What would you have to do to teach Superman to kill?” asks EARTH 2 editor Pat McCallum. “He’s endured the loss of his home world, and now the Last Son of Krypton must weather the death of his soul mate Lois Lane. Just how far can you bend the Man of Steel before he breaks?”

And here’s the rank stupidity “Lois” mentions in the article I linked to on Monday. We’re really killing Earth-2 Lois to make Earth-2 Superman go over the edge? The events are all blurring together so I don’t even remember which one already did that, but it was after Infinite Crisis, I do know that. Again, nothing new and it is indeed fridgeing Lois Lane. Can we please stop doing that?

World’s Finest may turn out to be an interesting story, but you can count me out of Earth-2. So far it seems it took everything I don’t like about the New 52 and made it worse. This is probably the DCU they WANT to make but wouldn’t be approved by the marketing guys (and it’s rare when I root for the marketing guys in storytelling media).

I miss the DC Universe. It used to be fun and full of superheroes.