FNF: G7> Still sounds better than Reily’s singing!

More Star Trekin across the universe on the starship…ah, you know the rest. But just in case you don’t….

And with that out of the way, let’s take another spin on the Enterprise. But things are different this track, kids. Throughout the tournament we’ve seen music set to major fights. But I like to do things a little differently, so let’s change the jam a bit. Because for my finale, music isn’t the set piece. It’s the enemy!

Track 12 of 12

The Dance Floor: Star Trek PR-26 (Power Records, sometime in the 70’s-ish)

The Promoters: You’re guess is as good as mine. No credits were ever given in these things. My copy is really rather cruddy thanks to time, and I don’t even remember where the record is, come to think of it. However, I did find a site that has all the old book-and-records available. Sometimes the audio and comic are separate files, but I got lucky on this one, as the audio is in the pdf file. I should also give credit to this article over at Siskoid’s Blog of Geekery, where I found what I needed for this entry.

Stardate: 5444.9

It’s just another mapping session for the crew of the Enterprise, and if you ask Mr. Conners, the guy the temp agency sent to take over for Checkov, a boring one. Then Captain Kirk starts hearing things.

Hearing is the first think to go.

And no, you’re not seeing wrong. For some reason, Uhura is a white blond and Sulu’s a black guy. Not that they matter much in this story, but Power’s art team makes this mistake a lot in their book and records.

Oh, I’m sure it’s just a glitch. It won’t last long.

I even included an audio clip from the site Siskoid first sent us to.

OK, apparently I’m not very good at predicting things in books I’ve already read. A lot. At any rate, this little rave isn’t going well for the crew. The music is keeping them awake at night and interfering with their work. All the reasons the Federation bans MMOs on starships. Even earplugs aren’t very effective.

"Actually, Spock, I was trying to say that with your hypersensitive Vulcan hearing, I don't have any earplugs strong enough!"

Luckily, Spock is here to explain everything.

Everytime those two agree on something, Kirk has to make a special log entry.

You know, this is all well and good, but since this is Friday Night Fights, shouldn’t we be seeing a fight by now?

So that's a "no", then?

Oh, I imagine it would be something like this:

Well, it's not like it has fists.

Fine, maybe Spock has a point. But now we know what kind of threat we have, and it’s ticked (probably screaming “stop ignoring me!”), how do we deal with it? Our guest star has the solution.

And the only place it can be played is the bridge of a starship.

Interesting that they didn’t go with Spock’s harp lyrette and Uhura’s singing.

Hmmm. Maybe not. At any rate, Conners is convinced that instead of fighting, maybe he can use music to calm the sound being down.

Conners later retired from Starfleet to focus on his music career.

And it seems to be working, on both creature and crew. But after a few hours…

Connors, you're such a drama queen!

And finally…

Give John Tesh Mr. Connors credit. It worked. The creature leaves, the communications are back online, and now it’s back to boring old mapping. Which doesn’t sound so bad right about now, does it, guys? Sure, it’s not the drag out, face-stomping, bash fest every other entry was, but I like to be different. I’m sure you’ll find a more rewarding battle when you vote for the finale winner.

And with this being the final fight, return next week for more of the best of Fights past, as we raid Bahlactus’s old site for more goodies. So I leave you with some final thoughts.