SMC presents Liefeld’s Galactica: Journey’s End #2 of 4

Imagine the Cylons in human form. That’s the Eastern Alliance, a group of fascists that (considering the time the original series was produced) could be a stand-in for communism, or even the Nazis. At war with the more democratic Nationalists (not Western Nationalists according to the Battlestar Wiki, but I barely remember the Terra arc and I don’t recall even seeing all of it), the Eastern Alliance, now the Eastern Empire in this far-flung future Elias has flung the Galactica far into, believe they are the supreme power and they alone have the right to control the universe. And thanks to Elias, the Galactica, now outdated, is right in front of their doorstep after escaping the Cylon destruction of the Earth colony and the remaining fleet last issue. Are we sure that this isn’t another Iblis?

By the way, speaking of the Battlestar Wiki, want to know what they have to say about this comic?

Unfortunately, all the exciting themes are completely undercut by issue #2. The Galactica is once again saved by the Seraphs. To have the Seraphs simply warp the Galactica away feels like cheating (Again, why didn’t they warp the Colonial warfleet away during the peace talks?). Even worse, the Seraphs use time-travel to take the Colonials years into the future where they discover the Eastern Alliance is the ultimate power in the universe and has conquered the Cylons! The resolution of this futuristic plot isn’t believable at all.

Sounds about right.

And we're back to throwing things wherever we feel like, I see.

Battlestar Galactica: Journey’s End #2

Maximum Press (September, 1996)

The Galactica is contacted by Commandant Leiter (a descendent of the one they captured when they first met the Eastern Alliance because why not?) and ordered to surrender. Because Elias has disappeared (“yeah, thanks for saving us, jerk, I feel so rescued now”), Apollo, Tigh, and Athena board Leiter’s ship to discuss surrender terms. They discover that the Eastern Alliance has not only taken over Terra, but grabbed a few surviving Colonials, putting all of them into slave labor camps. Oh, and they also conquered the Cylons.

And why are they STILL drawing Cylons with veins in their arms?

Yes, they conquered the Cylons. Okay, why? No, honestly, the Eastern Empire now includes the Cylons? Oh, they have reprogrammed Cylons as guards, servants, and maintaining the slave labor camps. A week passes and Lieter’s men have not only completed repairs on the Galactica (that was rather nice of them) but has almost finished installing the Control Centurion so they can operate it. (This surprisingly becomes useful in this and the next two issues.) Meanwhile, Apollo is passing the time in the slave camps by monologing.

Thank you, Commander Exposition.

Apollo’s new friend, Daniel, has been putting together a slave revolt and since Leiter has waited this long to start splitting up the Battlestar’s crew this is the best chance for the two groups to seize control. How will they do it?

Well, first, let’s have Elias drop in on Starbuck, give him some cryptic note that he’s about to embark on a “great journey” we’ll never get to see with this being the last story, and disappearing. Most pointless page in the series. Not this issue, the entire Maximum Press run and that’s saying a lot! So back to how Apollo plans to stop the Eastern Empire’s Cylons.

Has anyone ever explained why he put himself in a robot body? I mean, aren't the Colonials FIGHTING robots? Is this how the Cylons were born in this continuity?

Yep, old Doctor Wilker, the Liefeld-created character who put his mind into an android body because…I don’t know. Maybe it was a hell of a New Yarhen. Some people get tattoos when they’ve had too much, Wilker downloaded his mind into an android. (It’s more explanation than Liefeld and Napton ever give us.) If you recall, Ares blew him up in The Enemy Within, so he’s been in repair…by whom? If Wiker is the cybernetics expert are there others? We never meet them. They never do anything. So who has been building a new robot body while Wilker’s been offline? Like everything else involving this character…never explained.

When Lieter gets the Command Centurion online, Wilker is already interfaced and takes control, reprogramming the Cylons to attack the Eastern forces. And by attack I mean wholesale slaughter. Even Lieter is killed off which seems a bit harsh for Apollo. Usually they would just have the Cylons take prisoners and only shoot to kill if there’s resistance. Yes, I know they were put into slave labor camps. Yes, the original series was a network show marketed as a family sci-fi story, which is why Cassiopeia was changed for a prostitute “solicitor” to a nurse between the pilot and full series. I don’t care! This is not how they were depicted on the show, this isn’t how you depict them in something based off of said show. This may be a minor nitpick, but it bothers me and that’s all that counts.

Especially when we get an ending like this: Daniel informs the Galactica before it leaves that Cylons everywhere are revolting against the Eastern forces. This, ladies and gentlemen and the undecided, is how you make no bloody sense. It’s a feel-good ending that certainly invokes the spirit of the old show by going over the limit. I know Leiter tells Apollo that they connect the Cylons to a hive mind but you mean every Cylon the Empire has is connected to one hive mind? And that Wilker was able to reprogram every Cylon everywhere through it? Well kumbayah, my lords. I take it back about resembling a family show. I’ve seen less Saturday morning and weekday afternoon cartoon for kids that didn’t wrap things up this sweetly. Star Wars didn’t wrap things up this neatly and if you ignore the Expanded Universe you’d think all that was needed to crumble the Empire was to throw Palpatine down a pit. Then Elias shows up to be even more stupid. Or a jerk. Or a stupid jerk.

The only apple Elias deserves is the one you throw at his head!

How stupid is this? Count with me.

1. “If I hadn’t saved you, you’d be dead.” So instead they were enslaved and nearly killed, escaping only because they had a network already planning to mount an escape and Dr. Wilker still being worked on…somehow.
2. “To show you the Cylons are not the only threat…” Yeah, we already KNOW THAT! This isn’t Battlestar Namesake. In the very first episode (or third if you break it up in parts) they encountered a race that wanted to use them as food by leading them into a space casino. They’ve also already dealt with the Eastern Alliance before and I’m sure they aren’t stupid enough to think that they might not be a threat in the future…
3. …although Earth should be so far from Terra that it shouldn’t matter as much. Remember they’ve been using a super-advanced warp system since the very first Liefeld’s Galactica comic. Terra should be at least on the other side of the galaxy if not a whole other galaxy by now. By the time the Easterns arrived at Earth they should be more than prepared unless they abandon their tech advancements like we’ve neutered NASA. That’s of course if the Cylons are defeated. (see #5)
4. Hopefully Leiter hadn’t thought to execute any slaves to set an example. We already have a scene were people were threatened by being thrown in an incinerator. Was this already done previously? Those people are dead. It’s nice to know that the Seraphs are here to help us.
5. So what happens if they ever show up in their home time? Do they wipe out the Eastern Alliance before it becomes powerful enough to be a threat? Yes, after this Elias sends the crew time-hopping again for the dumbest story yet where Apollo has to make a similar decision. If they wipe out the Easterns they will never come to power. Then again, they’ve shown themselves powerful enough to wipe out the entire Cylon fleet and turn the remnants into happy cogs of the oppressors. Do we risk losing the opportunity to end the Cylon threat or accept what the Easterns will become?
6. There are easier ways to show the Colonials that there are other threats, and their main concern is still the Cylons that JUST BEAT THE FRACK OUT THEM LAST ISSUE! You know, killed a bunch more of their families? Wiped out their friends? Even took down the Ark? Let’s worry about the Eastern Alliance AFTER the current threat is stopped.
7. THIS WHOLE STORY WAS BLOODY POINTLESS!

Seriously, what was the point of this issue? Nothing we see here will have any impact on the next two stories that couldn’t be handled by using Cy the Cylon, who is hinted at in one of the one-shots and could have been Starbuck’s mission that Elias hints at but we will never see in the Liefeld’s Galactica run. So what is the next story? Fans of the original series, prepare yourselves for the disappointment to come.

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