They did warn this was the most dangerous ski slope.
The Blue Beetle #28
Holyoke Publishing (December, 1943)
Well, we’re almost done with the Holyoke period of Blue Beetle’s life and I won’t miss it. While Fox will probably still do the anthology thing because it’s the Golden Age I’m hoping they bring back better writers. I’ve made it no secret that I’m not a fan of this run, if only because I needed something to put in here for the homepage since credits on an anthology that often forgets the credits is not available to put here. There have been some odd choices and I’m curious what Fox keeps when they get the character back, if anything. We have this and two more issues to finish this run before we can find out.
The Blue Beetle: Double Trouble part 2
For those of you who missed the previous issue, US Intelligence proved they don’t deserve that name when they let a supposedly reformed Nazi play Blue Beetle in Germany. Except he’s still a loyal Nazi, just a really greedy one. He and his girlfriend tried to steal gold from a vault but the real Blue Beetle–and Spunky for some reason despite not using his hero identity–was worried that they hadn’t heard back from him and went to investigate. Also it seems like the Blue Beetle no longer has a secret identity because everybody seems to know what he looks like and the Nazi Beetle knows his real name, as does his boss in the US Intelligence division. I hope that’s one of the things Fox ignores. Anyway, on to this issue.
And my goodness is this absolutely stupid! First off the dialog is clunky and stiff, but then you get into the story. The Nazis capture Dan and Spunky numerous times to try to get the secret of the gold. One time they even manage to rip Blue Beetle’s costume. You know, the one that’s supposed to be chainmail armor! Tina, who I think was introduced last issue, is now Dan’s girlfriend and after being used by the FBI to keep Fritz under control when he’s sent back to the states by making him fall for her (what happened to Fritz’s girlfriend? Forget the whole series, did you read the last issue?) she decides to rescue Dan by sneaking into Germany with the help of Baron Von X, who has a beef with Fritz. It’s a trap and they just want to use her to force Dan to reveal his Blue Beetle secrets and how to get the gold hidden in the tunnel of the plant they captured last issue. Who is Baron Von X? Spunky suggest READING EARLIER ISSUES OF THE BLUE BEETLE to find out! And it’s in-story, not some four-wall narration. Longish story short, our trio manages to sneak out the new war plane while the Nazis bomb A FAKE NEW YORK THE GOVERNMENT BUILT IN KANSAS FOR THIS VERY REASON and it’s a happy ending. Mostly because it ended.
Fourth wall breaking, bad dialog, Blue Beetle straight up murdering dudes with an armored steamroller tank, plot points with barely any connection because it looks like panels are missing, not knowing anything about the character or story you’re continuing…this whole story was an absolute mess even by Holyoke standards. It’s garbage and I had to stop numerous times because my brain couldn’t process the stupidity on display. It’s 11 pages of storytelling failure! Ali Baba would be a welcome relief at this point, and sadly it’s coming up.
After a supposedly comedic story in which Santa Claus is dropping bombs on Japan and giant Vs on Germany we get our next story. Look, I know it’s war propaganda but…this is jolly old St. Nick! Seeing him make a “pan-cake” by dropping a bomb in a Japanese volcano just doesn’t sit right for me.
Boxie Weaver by Ink Higgins
This…was actually good. Then again look at the competition so far. A boxing promoter named Ace Sharp overhears some jerk complaining about all the foreigners and warns him that such bigotry is playing into the Axis’ hands. He attacks Ace but is rescue by our title character. Ace sees potential in him as a boxer and he starts out being a natural. The boss of his next opponent decides to play on Boxie’s sympathies by claiming the man has a sick wife in the hospital, which puts Boxie off his game in the first round but after hearing the opponent only has three EX-wives, he comes back to win the second round. It’s a good little story, but we’ll see what happens in the next two issues if he’s more than a one-trick pony.
West To Japan
After another lame attempt at comedy we have another war propaganda piece. I’d be okay with it if it was well written. This one is just kind of basic. A submarine is sent to blow up Japanese shipping boats coming out of Japan. They manage to take a couple out after some daring battles with spy planes and a destroyer. It’s a story that would have worked better as a short film or movie than a few pages of a comic.
There’s a few pages missing from the Comic Book Plus posting as of this writing before getting into the Ali Baba story, also a continuation from last issue.
Ali Baba by Ray Wilner according to the Grand Comics Database
And stopping because of the stupidity returns. Maybe this is why they never did a two-parter? Ali is taken by a baboon to speak to Merlin, who talks and dresses like a New York 1940s street punk. He tells Ali to get an egg from the red-haired dragon lady and I was expecting it to be Ali’s wife who found Swami’s spare time machine. Then again, Ali doesn’t take a car because it wasn’t invented yet so he takes a motorcycle…which the narrator tells us ALSO hasn’t been invented in King Arthur’s time. THIS JOKE HASN’T BEEN FUNNY ONCE AND IT’S THE SECOND TIME THIS STRIP HAS USED IT! No, there’s a real dragon, with dragon babies hiding in the same dresser he hides in…what is this story? I am not going to miss this one when I shift away from Holyoke.
Durrand Draw: The Devils Trill by Geo Tukel
Fun fact: Durand is a real name or word according to spell check but with the second R it doesn’t know what you’re talking about. This story we are introduced to Durrand’s assistant, Jiggers, and Beth’s dog Top. A pianist is kidnapped and someone warns Durrand to stay off the case. The pianist is tied into a plot to alert the criminal element to rise up against the government and help the Nazis take over the country. Ooookay. Jiggers ends up captured by the Nazi agents with the pianist and his sister, who hired Durrand in the first place, but Top gets onto the boat and frees them. Even Durrand notes all he did in this case was get the police after the Nazi boat. Otherwise, it’s the second decent story thus far this issue.
Crime Reporter
A newspaper editor wants to take on a big time criminal he’s sure is behind various rackets in the city. Killed by the mobster he has evidence on, the editor turns the newspaper over to Joe Williams, who is determined to bring his friend’s murder to justice. The mobster swears he didn’t kill the previous editor. Joe goes to get a new confession from the man the editor had talked to before (what happened to the old one?) only to find him dead. The mobster arrives but to point out the real killer, the assistant editor who wanted the paper for himself. The real killer also gets the mobster before committing suicide to avoid the cops. So I guess the good guys win? It’s an interesting plot, where a mobster is trying to prove he’s innocent of the murder of the man who could send him to jail, and the reporter turned new editor caught in the war over control of the paper, but this really didn’t have the breathing room to make this work.
Blue Beetle Solves The Canadian Murders by Montgomery Mulford
Well, at least our last story tries. Dan is in Canada for some reason and comes across a home with a murdered woman with a suicide note in her hand. Later, the Blue Beetle comes upon another murder being staged as a suicide. The party responsible is a Canadian man who wants to join the Nazis. The woman was his mother…who should know she was illiterate and couldn’t write a suicide note, as that fact is known by the Mountie who comes to investigate after Dan calls them. The mountie was getting close to learning about his plans to get the “eskimeau” to revolt and cause trouble for the Canadian war effort. If the job was to tell a story about an idiot in Canada who becomes a Nazi sympathiser you win. If you wanted to tell an interesting murder mystery, you failed. Also, I guess Blue Beetle just dropped the bulletproof chainmail armor altogether for some dumb reason as this is the second story he just has a regular costume.
OVERALL: This comic fails miserably at being entertainment. Two stories were okay but at this point they’re coasting on being propaganda without trying to tell good stories…kind of some modern comics I could mention. It’s like hating Nazis isn’t enough to make a good book, even in World War II when they still knew what a Nazi was! The more things change, the more they stay the same. Two more issues and I’m done with the Holyoke run. I hope Fox’s return is better than this mess.
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