Chapter By Chapter (usually) features me reading one chapter of the selected book at a time and reviewing it as if I were reviewing an episode of a TV show or an issue of a comic. There will be spoilers if you haven’t read to the point I have, and if you’ve read further I ask that you don’t spoil anything further into the book. Think of it as a read-along book club.

By Charles Dickens

Welcome to the twenty second novel in the Chapter By Chapter review series. Also, while this is usually a weekly offering, for this last week before Christmas I’m doing this book all week, all five chapters (or “staves” as this book calls them), while trying to finish Captain Yuletide. This should be an easy book to track down, being in public domain. If you prefer a physical book there’s the library and it’s probably available in book stories, but a free eBook version can be found on Project Guttenberg, where I’m getting mine from, Google Books, the Internet Archive, and that’s just the sources I know.

This will be my first time reading this book outside of an excerpt in a pamphlet that’s part of my Christmas decorations. Like most of you I have also seen numerous adaptations and homages. I even saw one where Rich Little, a famous impersonator back in my day, played every role as a different celebrity. There’s also an animated version in the Christmas Specials playlist and a riff by Linkara of one of the live-action versions as well. I’ve seen Scrooge be played by Mister Magoo, Michael Cain, the fittingly chosen Scrooge McDuck, and numerous other animated versions over the years, and I think there’s something about the animated ones that really got the ghosts properly spooky, including the one from my youth I’m still hoping to track down someday. With so many adaptations live and animated that’s not an easy task when you’re trying to do other things in your life.

With that, it’s time to start the review, with a line that I find unintentionally amusing as an opening line, which is kind of mean considering the line.

STAVE 1: “Marley’s Ghost”

Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ’Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Did I mention he’s dead? Because he’s dead. So dead. So very dead. He’s so dead this is theme song:

Don’t look at me like that. There’s three paragraphs to make sure we know Jacob Marley is dead and Scrooge knows he’s dead, with a diversion wondering whether or not a doornail is dead. So we can all agree Jacob Marley is dead, right?

It’s here, after learning Ja…okay, I’ll stop. Anyway, this is where we meet Scrooge. It’s actually a ways into the first chapter that we learn his first name is Ebenezer because the narrator, who talks like he’s having a conversation and is quite the wordy boy (so…me), doesn’t bring it up until Marley calls him that. You know the dead guy. Look, I can’t call it the last time if we’re meeting his ghost this chapter! At any rate, I’m calling him Ebenezer for reasons that will make sense in the finale on Friday…if I don’t forget to bring it up. Also, it’s already turning into a mental exercise to write “Ebenezer” instead of “Scrooge”.

So what do we learn about Ebenezer. Well, he was the only mourner at Marley’s funeral outside of a “chief mourner”, which is not something I’m aware of as a present day American. It could be a Victorian England thing or maybe they still do it, but anyone from the UK is welcome to explain that. We also learn that Ebenezer didn’t take Marley’s name off of the door, and even at times accepted being called Marley. Whether this was friendship or laziness the narrator doesn’t hazard a guess, despite going on about doornails. He did also offer a discount after the funeral. I don’t know how that works with a counting house and loan officer but I’m not a businessman. Sadly. I could use the money.

It’s also interesting because the narrator then goes on to describe what a skinflint he is, with little interest in the cold either way. He’s such a nasty type that even the guide dogs pull their masters away and nobody asks him for the time or say hello or anything, and he was quite pleased about it. So thus far we know two things: Ebenezer is a a jerk everyone avoids, and Marley is dead. Thus the stage is set. Now the story proper begins.

The first other person we meet among the living is Ebenezer’s clerk. Names don’t come very swift here. I checked, and it’s not until the Ghost Of Christmas Present that we see the name Bob Cratchit beyond the table of contents. I don’t know when we’ll learn Ebenezer’s nephew’s name. By this point in every adaptation we know Ebenezer’s nephew is named Fred, his clerk is Bob Cratchit, and Ebenezer’s first name is Ebenezer. It’s slow goings in the book, at least in my version. Maybe a later version fixes this or something? What’s in your copy? Fred invites his uncle to dinner after the usual speech about how those wishing a Merry Christmas should be boiled in his own pudding and all that, but I love the response as depicted in the book.

Scrooge said that he would see him—yes, indeed he did. He went the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him in that extremity first.

AKA when Hell is as cold as Bob’s stove, no doubt. I think we can find the villain, and despite being the main protagonist Ebenezer is very much a villain at this point, in some versions more than others, amusing. Then again, I’ve seen this conversation so many times I have voices in my head and I couldn’t tell you which version they’re from. Also interesting is that Ebenezer calls Fred poor, but in interpretations we see he and his wife (Ebenezer gives his thoughts on marriage as well, and they’re in line with his views on Christmas) they’re at the very least comfortably well off, especially after we see the Cratchit residence. I never though of Fred as poor.

Next comes the scene with the charity collectors, where we learn Marley, the dead guy, dies seven years ago this night, which I take to be Christmas Eve. Nobody considers this as part of the reason for Ebenezer’s attitude. Marley was his only friend and he lost him on a day Ebenezer had already written off for reasons we see later. I mentioned I was doing this series on the Morning Nonsense stream hosted by Literature Devil, who noted evidence that deep down Ebenezer wasn’t the monster he had become on the outside. If so, despite his not really mourning externally, maybe something inside wanted to?

To break up the text wall, one of the beautiful images by illustrator John Leech, used in this copy of the story scanned by Project Guttenberg.

We all know this scene, with Ebenezer acting as if work houses were good enough, and that anyone with too much self-respect should just go ahead and die. A bit harsh of a response. Not everyone in the poor is lazy. Some are directionless or haven’t been able to find work. I don’t know what the economy was like back then but seeing what we’re doing now in the US I’m not pro-lazy, nor do I think hamburger-flipping jobs should pay the rent because that’s not the point and discourages hiring teens into their first job in favor of the already trustworthy. Also, I don’t know of many people who see prison as a good alternative, but Ebenezer is the type who figures his taxes are enough, when the government is not known for charity…or at least getting it right.

There’s a scene I don’t remember in adaptations, where someone tries to sing a Christmas carol through the keyhole, “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen”, until Ebenezer chases him off, before the part where know where he reluctantly grants Bob Christmas day off so long as he’s here early the next day. Could this be another hint of Ebenezer’s latent better nature or just not wanting to put up with him and deciding from a business expense that Bob would do lousy work desiring to be home? YOU DECIDE!

Ebenezer heads home after a meal at the tavern (some adaptations just have him eating at home) and returns to his house, Marley’s old house. The place is often treated as a small mansion in other versions but here we’re told Ebenezer actually rents out the lower rooms, a detail I’ve never seen evidence of before. He even goes downstairs to the living room or great room or whatever to meet the Ghost Of Christmas Present, so I’m curious how that will work. This is the first we see of Jacob Marley’s ghost. You remember, the dead guy. I was expecting the narrator to beat that drum again, but just tries to defense Ebenezer seeing it from the usual “well, he was thinking of Marley because of earlier” and such.

Of course, Ebenezer does his own bit with the “there’s more of gravy than grave” line later, but at this point the door knocker vision is still enough to send him checking the rooms to see if anything is out of place like a child checking under the bed for monsters. The book is verbose as heck, but outside of that bit with the doornail nothing is out of place, and just means to set the scene and introduce the characters. It’s wordy but wordy with purpose. Even the mention of gruel, nothing Ebenezer’s head cold, shows that he’s so cheap that not only does he not light the place up so he can see (“darkness is cheap”, notes the narrator) but not even for the sake of his own health. Money is more important than even that. Nothing is there just to be smart but to set the mood. You can see why Dickens is a favored author.

Then the moment happens. Some adaptations keep the ringing bells and others don’t, and very few include the part where Marley sits in the chair, probably because it was a hard effect to pull off in the early days of cinema, but either way there is he, Jacob Marley, professional dead guy. Ebenezer does the usual “there’s more of gravy” stuff but the book gives us something not seen in adaptations due to lacking a narrator more often than not:

Scrooge was not much in the habit of cracking jokes, nor did he feel, in his heart, by any means waggish then. The truth is, that he tried to be smart, as a means of distracting his own attention, and keeping down his terror; for the spectre’s voice disturbed the very marrow in his bones.

Ebenezer’s own version of “gallows humor”, if you’ll pardon the expression. He could either make bad jokes or soil his underwear, and you know he doesn’t want to spend money on new underwear. That became moot when Marley undoes the bandana holding his jaw in place. Not enough versions go into that, though for the more kid-friendly adaptations I can see why. We’ve all seen this moment dozens of times, with slight variations of the events. We’re not told how Marley pulled of Ebenezer’s last chance at redemption, but remember all those ghosts at the window? Apparently Ebenezer knew all of them, something also never mentioned in other adaptations. I think having seen so many adaptations actually helped formed the voices but also viewing some of the scenes, like the ghost unable to help a woman and her infant. It’s all a very chilling scene.

This first chapter does a fantastic job setting up characters, locations, and backstory. While using a lot of words, it only occasionally feels unnecessary, but may also be setting up the narrator as a character. I wonder if we’ll find out who he or she is? Tomorrow, as Ebenezer’s clock strikes one (though I’ll still be posting at 6:00 PM ET as usual), the first of the Ghosts.