Going over the real Thunderbolts is a waste of time as I’m pretty sure Marvel Comics already screwed up their own concept around the time of Civil War. I heard what they did to Jolt, my favorite of the team, and it makes me sad. Besides, Thunderbolts* is not that team. Taking the basest version of the concept, former villains trying to be heroes, and using Bucky and a bunch of MCU namesakes nobody cares about in place of the real team isn’t winning them any rewards. The movie isn’t out yet, so we can only guess at how bad the movie will be based on recent history and what they slapped the name onto.
It’s the trailers I want to talk about. Marvel Studios recently dropped a new trailer for this movie, a full trailer this time. While it hasn’t won me over or anything, the job of marketing is to get butts in seats to watch the movie or show, read the book or comic, or play the game. Marketing these days has been kind of weak on all these fronts, so understand that I’m grasping the tips of the straws here, but the new trailer…actually didn’t suck. If I didn’t already know they ruined the whole thing with the characters they chose, already ruined by the MCU by directors who couldn’t care less about what they’re adapting in a studio run by a man who cares even less no matter what shills and documentaries try to tell me (watch Icons Unearthed: Marvel sometime), would I think this movie could work? Not from the original teaser, but the more recent trailer? Maybe?
Let’s start by watching the original teaser that was released back in September, 2024.
Can anyone look on these characters and see heroes? I can’t. It also looks boring, and that song choice, “Where Is My Mind” by The Pixies, isn’t helping. It’s a depressing song on purpose because of what it seems to be about, but it gets used in the wrong spots sometime. I should probably look into it more sometime and do a Sing Me A Story on it, as it’s one of those go-to movie songs. Russian lady whose name I don’t know because I didn’t watch the movie she was in talking about how there are no “good guys” isn’t making the case that this is going to be any fun, and when we do get jokes it’s “Red Guardian is a total moron” type of jokes. He’s even the reason for the group name, which nobody else agreed to (hence the asterix in the name), which appears to be a running gag.
I could have sworn there was a trailer that focused on the “comedy”, going too far the other way and was just Red Guardian’s nonsense, the sillier aspects on how these characters don’t get along…maybe I’m just too used to Marvel’s failed attempts to copy Joss Whedon in both movies and comics.
The choice of “Nothing’s Going To Stop Us Now” is odd when you remember Starship recorded it for the first Mannequin movie, the story of a mannequin that only came to life when her true love was alone (trust me, context only slightly helps–it’s still better than the garbage sequel). However, this seems a bit more heroic. It’s not the would-be redeemed resigned to their villainous history. Sure, it’s Red Guardian giving the “we can do it” speech, and we clearly see he’s an idiot, but here he comes off slightly better as the heart of the team. The others are still boring, you have to know the comics to figure out how Bob and the guy in the black supervillain costume figure into it, and…look, I said we were grasping at straws here. The point is I can see these characters as at least trying something they aren’t good at. We see them rescuing people, kicking butt, and the comedy doesn’t ruin the drama…which I suspect will happen often in the movie given the MCU’s current and very much deserved reputation.
There has been some discussion as to whether or not Disney is beginning to learn their lesson. Well, the colors are still dark, light is still barely there, they’re still using their gender swapped Taskmaster and their Ghost who doesn’t even have the right background nevermind race and gender, and I can already see early issues with Bob as far as Sentry and the Void are concerned. We still know nothing about the actual threat. Plus they have yet to show they have moved past their reputation yet. No, I’m not yet convinced. However, someone in the trailer cutting room did at least try to make the Thunderbolts* look heroic, which is a step up.
We’d all still rather see the REAL Thunderbolts, though.
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