Apparently “Ultimate” Wasn’t Bragging Enough

Behold, the next Spider-Man comic. Apparently we’re back to a many Spidey-comics as the store shelves can hold. But look at that name. Superior Spider-Man. “Hey ‘kids’, this is the best of the Spider-Man comics. Read us instead.” Geez. Whatever happened to “Amazing” or “Spectacular” or words like that. Now it’s a game of one-upsmanship. Nobody’s mentioning this.

No, I’m hearing more about the suit changes, which are just as stupid. As USA Today’s comic company mouthpiece section is telling us, it’s all to bring us a new, darker Spider-Man. I don’t think they understood the problems with “Turn Off The Dark”.

The wall-crawling superhero and Marvel Comics icon is the natural star of the brand-new Superior Spider-Man series launching in January as part of the “Marvel NOW!” initiative. It replaces Amazing Spider-Man in the lineup following a landmark 700th issue out Dec. 26.

That’s right, kids. Where fans are looking forward to seeing a comic reach #1000, comic companies are scared to death of it, like that pirate at the start of Treasure Island who had a stroke after receiving a piece of paper with a black spot on it. Just ask Action Comics readers.

However, this “enormous” change is an all-new development for the decades-old character and will result in a far darker Spider-Man than fans have ever seen, promises Dan Slott, the Amazing Spider-Manwriter who’s heading up Superior Spider-Man. “The one thing that does not go with this Spider-Man is the term ‘Friendly neighborhood.’ No. That’s gone.

Yeah, these are the people who complain that the Spider-Marriage negates the “core concept” of the character. I’d facepalm but I’d put my glasses through my skull.

“I’ve always been the omniscient hand that’s been protecting Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and not letting anything too bad happen to him,” he adds. {So many comments I could make – SWT} “And now I’ve become this cruel god. There’s something exciting about that, about going, ‘Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha, here is what’s going to happen to you, Spider-Man!’ And it’s drastic and it’s big and it’s exciting and it’s never been done before.”

Maybe it’s my writer instincts but while you want to give your characters tough challenges to overcome, you’re not supposed to sit there and treat them like ants under a magnifying glass. You want them to overcome, but with a challenge that’s both exciting for the readers and possibly evolves the character or one of his/her friends. How sadistic are comic writers today? Every time I see “I’m having fun torturing the character right now” I want to slap them upside the head with the entire Jack Kirby library. One at a time.

“The first story arc is called ‘Hero or menace?’ I think that pretty much tells you where we’re going.”

Spider-Man from J. Jonah Jameson’s perspective? Granted, that would make a humorous one-shot.

Whether or not Marvel fans storm the company’s New York City offices with pitchforks and web shooters once Superior Spider-Man comes out — after recently turning in the plot for the second issue, Slott predicts they’re going “to be crumpling it in their hands while they’re reading it” — the folks inside the building are all for Spidey’s new direction.

Remember when you wanted people to LIKE what you were doing? Yeah, slag that noise. Any reaction will do. In fact we feed off your hate. I think someone needs to call the Care Bears. Oh, but here’s the prize comment of the piece, without commentary, save for one bit of emphasis.

At one of Marvel’s editorial retreats, Slott gave his spiel for the first year of Superior Spider-Man and received the biggest reaction ever from Marvel editor in chief Axel Alonso: “He goes, ‘You know, usually when you talk I just hear a lot of fanfic. But this is a roller coaster. I’ve got to hang on!’ “

I would be wrong to end this piece without mentioning the changes to the costume. You know, because changing the classic Spidey-suit has worked so well in the past. That’s sarcasm for you newcomers. Every change has met with resistance.

(New artist Ryan) Stegman says there will be some alterations to the old Spidey costume — tying into some new abilities — that make him look a little more intimidating. “His belt looks a little different, and there’s points at the end of his glove that add a little aggressiveness to his costume.”

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I like how the “IMPORTANT” part is that the mask has an “angry brow” and an “alien nose”. Ask Tony Stark how adding a nose helps. He also has “big, non-emotional eyes” because why should Spider-Man emote? The blues are being replaced with blacks and now he has a claw hidden in his toe, plus the aforementioned clawed gloves. I guess he learned the wrong things from hanging with Miguel O’Hara and Miles Morales.

So how does all this fit into the alleged core concept? Will the funny quips continue? Will we be able to laugh along with Peter when something goes wrong or he secretly uses his powers to avert a minor incident for his friends or Aunt May? I’m guessing no. I’m also guessing sales will drop again after a brief boost of issue #1, and fans will complain about yet another renumbering before reaching the ultimate milestone. And you people thought Disney was going make Marvel too light in tone? Do you feel silly now?

Related articles

• Off My Mind: The End of The Amazing Spider-Man (comicvine.com)

Give that article a read. It’s another good take on how they’re screwing up their most iconic character.