Preschoolers Are Getting The Best Superhero Shows?

I already know what some people reading this are going to say. I’ll be accused of not growing up, or having Peter Pan Syndrome, or some other crap. “You’re 50 years old (though you don’t look it)! Why are you watching superhero shows for five-year-olds? You should watch the stuff made for your age group and like it!”

Oh, you mean the shows that never heard of primary colors or sunlight? The ones where everyone are angsty and brooding revenge seekers? The ones that try to NOT be a superhero show whenever possible? One that couldn’t care less about getting anything right about the source material? If I were going to watch superhero shows for grown-ups I’d go back to the 1970s to maybe mid 1990s, when superhero shows for grown-ups were superhero shows. Or maybe go father back and watch the ones for older kids, a demographic that today has no superhero shows unless you count Power Rangers, which is moving to Netflix and thus will probably lose a bunch of audience, and the Lauren Faust version of DC Superhero Girls, which is just Friendship Is Magic with characters better done by Shea Fontana. No offense to Faust but you should have made Super Best Friends Forever again because that looked less like you were ripping yourself off…not that I’d be surprised if that’s just what Cartoon Network asked for because they ain’t too bright up in the CN offices lately.

Look, I have my limits when it comes to kids TV. Don’t even try to get me to watch Cocomelon or anything involving baby sharks (I have somehow managed to avoid the full version of that song for years) because even I can’t deal with those shows. However, my philosophy has always been “a good story is where you find it”, and demographics will not decide what’s “made for me”. I refer you to the previous mention of Shea Fontana’s version of DC Superhero Girls or the numerous articles mentioning Paw Patrol and other Nick Jr and Disney Jr shows. I’m also not the only adult watching Bluey despite not having kids because it’s a well-written show for kids and their parents. You think “Fairytale”, the episode where Bandit tells his daughters about growing up in the 1980s didn’t have parents in mind?

I therefore present the following commentary: that kids are getting better superhero shows than adults are, or rather preschool and early elementary school kids are because the older kids are getting diddly squat right now. I don’t expect adult superhero stories to become exactly like them because then they’d be kids shows. That said, there are reasons I prefer to watch these younger shows, and there are lessons “adult” superhero shows could take from them.

Let’s just jump to the #1 reason kids superheroes are doing it right: the hero part. Superpowers and costumes are cool, but you can’t forget that supervillains have those as well. So it’s the hero part, not the super, that separates them. Kids show by design (and parent group badgering) teaches kids to be kind and to help others in need, even the people they don’t like. There’s a lesson a lot of adults could stand to learn today, especially on social media. That’s the basis of heroism. It’s not just about beating the baddie to a pulp. They’re also brave, which you can make the case is a shared trait with their adult counterparts. They’re not necessarily angry all the time, though. In Batwheels we actually see Batman with a slight smile now and then. Batman usually arrests his villains but that’s where the kid show heroes aren’t kids themselves. The Superkitties actually have a mantra of “we’re brave, we’re smart, we’re strong, we’re kind” that they say every time they go to work, and they usually talk their villains out of whatever scheme they’re up to.  The PJ Masks. based on a series of French children’s books, have to settle for chasing their enemies off while Team Spidey just webs them up and leaves and somehow that works.

Hero Elementary, the PBS show about kids in a superhero school, doesn’t really have villains but Sparks Crew still learn how to use their powers and knowledge of science to help others. In each of the shows I’ve mentioned the heroes are fearless but always looking to help people both friends and strangers. The Batwheels themselves, Batman’s various vehicles with a monster truck thrown in there, were “brought to life” to stop Batman’s villains’ vehicles from causing trouble but occasionally they’ll deal with the usual human Gotham criminal as well when Batman, Robin, and Batgirl aren’t around. They’re also all friends in these shows, or at least get along on some level, which was one of my draws to the DC universe. They literally had a team when I was growing up called SuperFRIENDS while Spider-Man has his “Amazing Friends” in both the 1980s and the 2020s. You wouldn’t have Batman VS Superman, you’d have Batman and Superman teaming up against villains. That’s my kind of dawning justice.

Part of making the heroes look more heroic are the brightly colored costumes. Even the Bat-Crew have blues and purples instead of all black, while Robin gets the typical yellow and red outfit. Sparks Crew has a shared color scheme of blue and white with red gloves. (Blue and white is my favorite color combo.) The Superkitties, PJ Masks, Paw Patrol, de-aged Marvel heroes, and so on also have bright colors, heroic colors. You can tell they’re the heroes. Even Superhero Kindergarten, and this is the only nice thing I’ll say about Hero Elementary done wrong outside of being amazed they got Arnold Schwarzenegger to voice the teacher–which has to be a superpower on its own (see also Shaq’s Garage…I won’t), has heroic looking costumes. Sadly, it also has terrible transitions, a kid who flies by farting, and another kindergarten age hero named Cray-Cray. In the kids show and she’s what qualifies for sane on that show, they called her Cray-Cray. We even get capes. CAPES, PEOPLE! The only thing Edna Mode got wrong and they didn’t listen to her. PBS’s other kid superhero, Wordgirl, has a cape. Lucita Sky of Sparks Crew has a cape…though not a very good superhero name. I’ll still take it over Cray-Cray, mind you. If it makes sense for that hero to have a cape, the kids shows aren’t shy about slapping them on. Just keep them off the speedsters. There’s a reason the PJ Masks’ only caped hero is the flying girl with an owl motif.

Even when it comes to adaptation, the area you wouldn’t think the media targeting an age group that’s never read a comic book…yet…would bother to put effort into, the shows for kids are coming through. You know why I came down hard of League Of Super Pets for their adaptation errors? Krypto The Superdog exists. They actually took the time to look into actual characters from Krypto’s part of DC history (mostly the Silver Age) or the actual DC super pets (the pig dressed as Wonder Woman is a bit of an insult when you learn Diana never had a pig…she was turned into one once), which was also followed up by a set of DC Nation shorts also called League Of Super Pets that also did the homework required of them. They weren’t exact matches. They couldn’t be. It’s a new audience in a different medium. And yet the only major change was Ace The Bathound getting a different color fur…and it was actually a positive change since it gives him more of a Batman look. It’s the design they should go with from here on out!

We all made fun of Batwheels when it was announced. I was among them. I thought it was going to some kind of Batman/Pixar’s Cars mash-up like everyone else did. Granted I was a lot kinder to it given my childhood included Speed Buggy, Wheelie And The Chopper Bunch, Knight Rider, Pole Position, and various MGM shorts involving living vehicles, but I still thought it was silly. Then I finally watched a few episodes out of curiosity and was surprised how accurate the human characters were despite being toned down for the age group, and how interesting the “living” vehicles were as characters. Robin is some kind of amalgamation of Dick, Tim, and to a WAY lesser extend Damian but I’m actually okay with that. Batgirl lost the red hair (of course) but she still has Barbara’s personality, something missing in a lot of race swaps in post-comic media right now. Batman is still very serious but allows the man a chance to come through, especially when spending off-work time with his son. Even the villains work. Joker is causing chaos without the body count, Harley Quinn’s acceptance campaign comes in the form of stealing medals and trophies but her personality is intact, as is the Riddler’s and Penguin’s.

And yet the Batwheels themselves are not carbon copies of their drivers, going so far as having Bam (the Batmobile) failing as leader when he tries to be like Batman and has to learn to be his own man car Use his own leadership skills. The monster truck called Buff actually makes friends with Mr. Freeze’s truck because he’s not really bad, just dealing with peer pressure and Mr. Freeze having a remote control. Redbird, Robin’s car, is a detective and the “youngest” of the team but that’s about it. Batgirl’s cycle is a bit of a thrillseeker but you have to be in order to be Batgirl’s ride. The Batwing just loves flying and gives Green Arrow’s jet life so she has someone to fight arial crime and fly with. Yes, Green Arrow has a cameo, and Toyman also shows up with Batman acknowledging him as one of Superman’s foes. There’s also an episode with Penguin upset he wasn’t invited to the premier of a Grey Ghost movie…and they got the costume right on the fans and promo posters at the theater. How deep are they into the lore that the Grey Ghost is not only referenced hard, but accurate…IN THE PRESCHOOL SHOW! You think that audience cares? Probably not, and yet for the audience who would care, who grew up with Batman: The Animated Series and the comics? Sucks to be you! You get a conspiracy theorist calling himself Riddler and a putz in clown make-up for the Joker.

It’s Disney Junior that surprises me the most. First off they have the only Mickey Mouse related shows where the characters actually look like the classic Walt Disney version of Mickey and friends. Their Star Wars show also gives us heroic Jedi trainees who have to learn how to become better Jedi and help people despite being set during that High Republic nonsense. Their regular original superhero shows PJ Masks and Superkitties we already discussed features heroes being kind and helpful even to their enemies when needed. Then there’s their take on Spider-Man. It’s not perfect either. The Marvel cast are de-aged. Aunt May is more like her MCU age while the heroes (except for Iron Man) and villains are all younger and Team Spidey are voiced by kids.

However, they’re still more accurate representations than we get elsewhere. Ghost Spider is easy because she hasn’t been around long and the main version is from another dimension. (They did replace her dad with her mom for reasons.) Still, she’s a smart detective who occasionally needs…ugh, “boys” to help her out and gets along great with them. Peter is still making gadgets and web fluid. Miles kind of gets his own name, when as seen in the above video he takes on the nickname Spin. It’s not great but it does separate him from Peter’s hero identity. The villains are at least basically the same despite the kiddification. Green Goblin is more of a prankster than a murderer, Electro is a girl now and as much an attention hog as she is an electricity hog. I could go on but the point is when I see them I see a kidified version of the Marvel heroes and villains, not a bunch of namesakes that you’re lucky to get into the right costume. It’s less adaptation errors than any of the Spider-Man movies past the second Rami film. Not perfect but enough that Marvel Studios should be ashamed of themselves that the kids show is doing it better.

So yes, I’ll take the kids shows over the adult shows any day. I’m a superhero fan but there are reasons I’m a superhero fan, and the stuff made for grown-ups are boring, rage-filled, depressing deconstructions that aren’t allowed to just be fun superhero stories where the hero saves the day while helping others. And that’s if they’re even allowed to BE superhero stories and not some slice-of-life…oh, but he/she/they/whatever has a superpower and wears a costume…sometimes. If they have villains it’s just so blatantly based on someone the writer hates that they’ll literally have their name. You’re not supposed to be done watching it feeling happy and hopeful…and I certainly don’t. So I’d rather not watch that stuff. I want to see superheroes just like I did when I was a kid, and right now the only way to do that is to see what today’s kids are watching. I don’t feel like hating life and humanity today, okay?