Why Superheroes Keep Their Secret Identity From Their Friends

No, this isn’t me going on another My Adventures With Superman commentary. I’ve said my peace on that and why I personally have no interest in it, and it doesn’t look like that’s changing. I’m sure Casually Comics is putting together a history of Lois learning Clark is Superman (or trying to learn–one of the recurring Silver Age stories is Lois trying to do stupid things to prove Clark is Superman only to look like an idiot) right now. I will say that in the fifth episode of a show in which they’re both interns and not reporters, have known each other maybe a few months tops in-universe, and as Clark noted she’s always out to expose Superman’s secrets–and the girl has a history of NOT trusting Clark will help her without lying–this is all happening way too soon. They couldn’t possibly have the time to trust each other the way previous versions of the characters have in continuities that have lasted longer. Watching the romance develop is more interesting that BOOM! LOVE! that the show is going for.

All that over with it’s still not the best “Clark tells Lois the truth” scene in Superman fiction. This is.

That never stops being funny.

Instead I want to look into Superman’s motivation, and that of other superheroes, as to why they keep the identity a secret from their loved ones. Some years ago I already posted a debate between Scott Niswander back when NerdSync was Comic Misconceptions and Ricky of Stewdippen about whether or not a superhero should even have a secret identity. My point of view, as voiced there, hasn’t changed.

So what do I think? If I had superpowers I’d probably follow Scott’s advice and go the secret identity route. It would be easier to go shopping without the paparazzi, have my deed do all the speaking, except when I did some public speaking somewhere which is where I tell the kids anyone can do it, the symbol can be more powerful (depending how I “brand” myself), and keeping my family safer from criminals or rouge government agents is a good thing. Plus it would be kind of fun keeping it a secret, except for a select few because you know I support a support network of non super friends to keep me human instead of pseudo-god.

I could go more into that in the future but shouldn’t you tell all your family and friends you’re a superhero so you don’t have to have to keep coming up with excuses? Well, like the secret identity itself it varies from hero to hero and I could do a whole series going into why each hero maintains a secret identity. Why you don’t tell everyone you know is what’s interesting me at the moment.

Yes, I do support a “support team” of non-superhero friends. Clark has his parents and in some versions Lana Lang, his friend and almost love interest. Except in the pre-Crisis “Superboy” years Clark didn’t tell Lana he was Superboy and I don’t think she found out he was Superman either. He-Man and She-Ra both had a few people who knew their secret though She-Ra’s was never explained despite actually getting to see her origin. When did Kowl and Madame Razz find out? At least with Loo-Kee it was an emergency and Light Hope is a spirit that knows practically everything in the original show. It’s good to have someone to remind you your human, can help maintain your secret, and has a new perspective from the civilian side of things.

However, there are good reasons not to tell anyone. The more people who know a secret the harder it is to keep. If bad guys even suspected someone knew the true identity of a superhero they’d be in danger. The Daily Planet crew or the royals of Eternia may be in danger on a regular basis but this would be even worse. It also makes it more difficult for the hero to just say “I’m friends with the hero”, which Clark was known to do, and Superman’s friends have been used in the past to hold him back. Imagine if they knew Lois was also aware of who Superman was or that Clark was Superman and went after his parents, the people not as capable of defending themselves.

Spider-Man has had a few love interests he wanted to tell but couldn’t because they hated Spider-Man. Both Betty Bryant and Gwen Stacy blamed Spider-Man for the death of someone close to them, so he couldn’t tell them. Mary Jane had already seen Peter as Spider-Man before they started dating and decided to keep it a secret. Peter would tell her when he feels he can trust her with the secret, the same thing Jazz did when she found out her brother was Danny Phantom over on that show. Until then she secretly helped Danny keep his secret from their parents’, whom Danny wasn’t sure could handle having a half-ghost son as ghost hunters. (Apparently Butch Hartman has a thing for barely attentive parents in his kids shows.) Danny told his friends because he trusted them due to how close they were but Jazz is his sister and wasn’t sure she wouldn’t tell either to rat out her brother or out of concern for him. Eventually she joined the team officially.

Not every in-law got to know the hero’s identity so Abby’s parents must be something special.

There does have to be that level of trust before a hero tells anyone their secret. Pre-52 Jaime Reyes telling his family made sense because they were so close, to the level that New 52 Jaime had to be stopped from telling his family by the Scarab because the New 52 was all about making the heroes suffer and insufferable, the way DiDio likes them. Ronnie Raymond didn’t even tell Martin Stein they shared a body as Firestorm out of concern the doctor would stop the only thing he felt he was doing right and only eventually told him out of conscience as Stein was worried about the blackouts he was having, which stopped once he knew what was happening as the “brains” of the team. Maybe he should have told his girlfriend due to all the things she was doing for him and that eventually ruined their relationship, but that was a mistake. Barry eventually came clean to his wife that he was the Flash. In most cases, however, the hero was already or became close to the people who learned his or her secret. Compare that to the movie  versions of Batman. How It Should Have Ended gave him the pick-up line “I’m Batman, wanna know my secret identity?” because outside of the serial and 1960s movie every love interest, and even non-love interest in Barbara Pennyworth’s case, learned Bruce was Batman. Some couldn’t handle it and left, others died, but it was always a result of circumstance and never ended well.

Looking at the three most infamous recent identity reveals: Teela in Masters Of The Universe: Revelations was a total bitch when she found out, and seemed to blame Adam for his own death. I’ve seen the clips in context, folks, though right now I can’t get YouTube to cough one up without commentary. It’s basically how DC treated her in the more recent comic run as well, hating Adam and for some reason constantly insulting Mekaneck over his powers. She was convinced he should have told her and gotten mad. Not having seen the show I have never heard of her getting over it though. A GOOD Teela however wouldn’t look at her friend the same way if she knew he was He-Man. Going by the 2000s series it was the Sorceress who actually put her trust in Man-At-Arms for when Adam (and presumable Adora if this is also how things went in other continuities) was destined to become Eternia and Grayskull’s champion. Orko only stumbled on it. In no case did Adam even have a say in who knew what. In the original series his mother merely guessed it because “a mother knows her son”, but that wasn’t shown in any other version.

The next one was Amber in the cartoon version of Invincible. This is the one I have the least knowledge about but according to fans of the comics the original blond Amber was easily accepting of Mark’s identity reveal and realized why heroes keep identities. I’m guessing telling her shows a level of trust that may or may not have benefited their relationship but fans love the original comic Amber. The show Amber is a different story, though I hear comic Amber has her own issues. Instead of taking Jazz’s or Mary Jane’s approach of “I know why he keeps the identity and I’ll let him tell me when he’s ready”, the show creators didn’t want their black Amber to be “stupid” so she always knew…which just made her getting mad at him for ducking out to protect people come off as a being a terrible person. When he finally did reveal his identity she goes on about already knowing and how he was a horrible boyfriend. Now this I have a clip for.

People got mad at that. I don’t know if she ever came around but I’ve seen it compared to Wordgirl, thus adding to last week’s thesis that the preschoolers are getting the better superheroes, as her best friend found out her secret accidentally but over the course of the episode learned she could handle it and stopped being mad at her friend for keeping the secret. Yet here, Amber knew all along and rather than be supportive made it about her and her feelings, not understanding what a secret identity is for, or so the critics have stated. Again, I haven’t watched it but let’s assume the critics are right.. If you have to demand the hero tells you, maybe you weren’t worth telling? There had to be a better way to let Mark know he could stop with all the lame excuses and she was upset about not being in the loop without making him the bad guy. Make the supervillains the bad guy, confront him and try to work it out! Then again, both his friends are terrible. This one is rather graphic and lots of swearing. It’s why I probably wouldn’t watch this show.

Yeah, I wouldn’t tell any of them. I should note that this battle is the one where Amber starts fighting with Mark over not revealing his identity to her. William managed to guess just by seeing Invincible up close. Amber knew the whole time that he was running off to save lives, including William in the fight that was supposedly the last straw, one of their friends. Again, if she cared she would have let him know instead of letting him drive himself crazy protecting his secret, get him to see she can handle being the girlfriend of a superhero because she cares about him that much, but instead she made it about her feelings.

The last one is of course is the character called Lois Lane but has little in common with the actual character from the decades upon decades of comics, cartoons, audio dramas, and live-action adaptations. I stopped watching early on for that among other reasons but I did hear something that softens her action, but it doesn’t really make a defense. A reason is not an excuse, though apparently My Adventures With Superman has at least understood that. You can do something for a reason that seemed right to you but that doesn’t mean you’re in the right. I think we all can point to at least one point in our lives where we were on either side of that and if you weren’t you’re a liar, too.

Supposedly Lois learned some secret about her dad that changed her opinion of him as her hero and she was projecting that onto Clark. Maybe but that doesn’t mean she’s right. Again, this is happening way too early in their relationship not only compared to other incarnations of these characters but also early in their lives. They haven’t known each other very long so for her to have a guy she barely knows not tell her the secrets she’s threatened to expose. So even if she has a reason to be annoyed she isn’t really “allowed” to because despite a rushed relationship based on a crush weeks old.

Deciding to let someone in on your secret identity is opening yourself, and the other person, up to potential danger, so deciding who to choose and not choose is important. There are few people I know that I would tell if I ever became a superhero. It’s not because I don’t love or trust them, it’s because I know the risks involved and I’m not sure I’d want to invite them into that world and put them under the threat of a superhero world. Others I actually wouldn’t trust. I could go over each hero, go over the reasons they maintain an identity and who they could trust and couldn’t, as well as the reasons why, but that would take forever. It’s a hard one to get right, but one of the most important things for your average superhero TO get right.