Finally Watched…Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts

Time for another one of the banked reviews.

After the Michael Bay movies I was ready to write off the live-action Transformers movies, and then Bumblebee dropped. It showed what you can do with a live-action Transformers when have a director who is interested in more than flash. It was a better balance between G1 cartoon and the needs of live action without looking like junkpiles who move by transforming. You can check out that Finally Watched review for my full thoughts.

So with less dread than before I decided to give the latest one a look: Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts. This movie introduces a new take on the Maximals, the Beast Wars characters, to the movieverse. Will it follow the movie that came before it or go back to the ones I rage quit after the fourth one and never looked back?

RELEASE DATE: 2023
RELEASED BY: Paramount Pictures
RUNTIME: 2 hours, 7 minutes
RATING: PG-13
VIEWING SOURCE FOR THIS REVIEW: MGM+ Hits, which we had for a while
STARRING: Anthony Ramos, Dean Scott Vazquez, Luna Lauren Valdez, Peter Cullen, Ron Perlman, Peter Dinklage, and that damn “Bumblebee has to talk through his radio because he can’t talk” bullcrap! And by the way, IMDB, burying the voice actors of the important characters in your movie simply because they aren’t physically present is a jerk movie. YOU DO NOT LIST OPTIMUS PRIME BELOW THE ONE SCENE SECURITY GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCREENWRITERS: Joby Harold, Darnell Metayer, and Josh Peters
DIRECTOR: Steven Capel, Jr
BOX OFFICE: $157,066,392 domestic, $438,966,392 worldwide gross, according to IMDB
ESTIMATED BUDGET: $200,000,000 according to IMDB

The Plot: Centuries ago a planet is attacked by the forces of Unicron, searching for a “transwarp key” that will allow the planet-sized monster to travel anywhere in the universe. To stop him, a group of Maximals escaped to the planet Earth. In 1994 we meet Noah (Ramos), a former soldier forced into thievery to help his ailing little brother (Vazquez), and Elena (Valdez), an intern trying to show she’s a better asset to the museum. Said museum has found an artifact that contains half of the key while Noah accidentally steals the Autobot Mirage (Pete Davidson). This will bring all parties together when the key sends out a burst of energy that Unicron’s (Colman Domingo) minion Scourge (Dinklage–don’t hold that against this movie) is able to track. Optimus Prime (Cullen) meets Optimus Primal (Perlman), but can the three factions of Autobot, Maximal, and human work together to stop Unicron?

Why did I want to see it?: Bumblebee showed that the Bayverse movies could be…close to what a G1 adaptation should be, at least without Michael Bay. The scrap metal designs were reworked into something closer to a better translation of the toys and animation designs in a live-action world while also being distinct by using the vehicles’ colors, the writing was good, and while not hitting the AFI Top 100 it at least shows a good Transformers was possible. Since this was also not by Michael Bay it was worth checking out.

What did I think?: Okay, two things for future movies: let Bumblebee have his voice box and FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS ENOUGH WITH THE “MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE” REFERENCE! We get it! It’s a reference! Why not grab “they got the power to surprise” from later advertisements? Something other than this same line every scrapping time! You set the thing in the 1990s, and we only get the “hey, guess what time period we’re set in” bit a couple of times, but you can’t drop this one? You’re pulling me out of these stories now! Knock! IT! OFF!

Now that’s out of my system….

The human part drags a bit in the beginning, giving Noah every last bit of info and backstory we need for his character arc. The language bothers me because, as I keep saying, Transformers is a kid-friendly brand and anyone who cheers that on needs to shut up when the reverse happens because you’re a hypocrite! The only ones that really work for me are Rambo: The Force Of Freedom and Men In Black: The Series, depending on your view of the Ghostbusters franchise. Mirage is practically a swiss army knife of transformation, even transforming into an exosuit at one point…which I’m torn on because it’s all really cool and I like the suit’s design, but the way the Bayverse treats transformation, even when Bay is just producing like he is here, is a sticking point with me.

The only other complaint I can make is Optimus Prime’s character arc in learning to trust humans. It’s handled well and all. I can’t really complain about the story critically. It’s just not how I want to see Prime personally. He’s usually one of the biggest supporters of humans’ right to exist even in Bay’s films. He’s not trusting of them because he thinks they only care about their own interests, and that’s more a comic thing than a cartoon thing. It’s a minor complaint because all of this is done well.

There was some talk about the non-white characters, but oddly not from a critical eye, worried about “wokeness”. Instead, I broke down an interview about the movie where they put emphasis on the fact that we had non-white characters in the lead. The only white guys we see are official people, cops, security guards, and an end credits reference that’s there because Hasbro still wants that shared universe, do or die. I don’t care. Noah, Elena, and Noah’s brother Kris are all fine characters, it’s not a heavy-handed race discussion, and there are few people who aren’t white or Japanese in Transformers fiction just based on circumstance. I can probably list them all, and admittedly that’s not great. At least they’re not just race swaps, but new and good characters who are characters first and Latino or black due to ancestry. It doesn’t go on about “white guys suck” or anything. They’re just good characters in a good story. That’s what we’re asking for. You can do it, Hollywood. Leave the stereotypes at the door (which Bay has been guilty of) and just write good characters. Elena not realizing that as an intern she’s not going to be taken seriously even though the movie says she’s write is the closest thing to modern Hollywood failings, but her boss is just in it for the money.

The character designs are still containing some Bay influence, but took the Bumblebee approach in at least trying to give them some traditional Transformer effects. The end result is less “walking piles of scrap metal with some car parts” and closer to what I would expect. The Alternators and Alternity toylines still do a better job converting real-world vehicles into believable robots, and the Robosen toys show how it could be done, but at least it’s an improvement.

Bumblebee isn’t in the movie because he’s “dead” for most of it, and the Maximals only get to transform once and we barely get a look at anyone’s robot mode except for Primal. Okay, I had a couple more complaints.

Was it worth the wait: Mostly, yes. It is an improvement over anything Bay put out, though I did rage quit his fourth movie and never looked back. I thought they did the “Unicron is actually Earth” thing in the previous one but I’m happy to ignore that stupidity like this film did. I didn’t even like it in Transformers: Prime. It may not be a movie I would rush to see again, but I’m glad I banked this one before dropping cable/satellite TV.