“One of these days I need to teach you how to walk.”
Uncle Sam Quarterly #1
Comic Magazines, Inc (Autumn, 1941)
Well, at least we can still follow Uncle Sam’s pre-DC progression in his own comic, since I’m saving National Comics for the Golden Age reviews, even I even stick with that. Of course, it won’t be often, as the title suggests this only came out once a season and it’s the only solo title with him on Comic Book Plus at this time, but it’s something. I stuck through Thunderbolt once a week on it’s own, so doing this every now and then should be fine.
Note that comic legend Will(iam) Eisner is credited for most stories in this one, set in chapters with other stories breaking the count…so I need to apologize in advance for something that’s about to happen.
“Forged Faces”
I am about to commit a major comic sin but I can’t help it. I hated this story because it made so little sense. Yes, I put down a Will Eisner story, but everyone has an off day. This was his. A senator kidnaps and uses fake versions of enough Congressmen and the President to pass a bill constripting young boys, including Buddy, for slave labor while he plans to create a war to profit his munitions factory. This is all kinds of impossible for so many reasons you’d need an article and someone more understanding of our laws and the Constitution to explain them all. I know enough to see this story as just utter nonsense all the way through. Sorry, but there’s no avoiding it. This was just dumb, and not in the fun way.
“The King Of Crime”
This is a little better if you like the weird stories. Two scientists decide to frankenstein a wimp to unknowingly become the greatest criminal ever, King Killer. He kills them and goes off to form his own state of Rex, so that the police can’t cross state lines. Rex is a home to criminals but eventually everyone, including Uncle Sam, has enough and takes the state on while Sam has a days long battle with King Killer. This is dumb in the fun way. They even break a panel border during their fight, one of those fun things only comics can do. Ultimately it wasn’t my flavor of dumb, but that’s personal, not critical.
“Uncle Sam A Fake”
Eisner doesn’t have a credit but neither does anybody else. Comic Book Plus at least assumes it’s still him. It also breaks the chapter count for a moment, as the next story is listed as chapter 3 instead of this one. A newspaper editor insists Sam is a phoney and sends a reporter to prove it. Another reporter, who is also trying to win her over romantically, also heads out to prove Sam is real. After seeing Sam rescue a woman from a flaming skyscraper, she believes his real, tells off her editor, and the two plan to get married. Buddy gets to write the story that Sam’s the real deal and shows the new couple around Everytown, where Uncle Sam and Buddy make their home. It’s nice to see Sam doing other hero things besides fight crime and it’s a fun little story.
“The Man Who Sold His Country”
FDR gets his third term, but in this universe his opponent was the Progressive Party’s Horatio Brown. (This happened in real life but with Republican Wendell Willkie, out of needing stability during World War II, and led to an amendment limiting Presidents to two terms…which sadly didn’t include Congressmen. Before then, two terms was traditional, following George Washington’s example.) So Brown is talked into stealing government secrets in exchange for being made dictator of his own country. When Buddy makes him realize everyone in his new country hates him as much as his old country does now, that somehow turns him back into a patriot and he sacrifices himself to stop the bad guys’ plans. There is no way any of this made any sense, but at least it had fun not making sense.
“The Mad Poet” or “Uncle Sam Battles Inky Pinky Omblagoo Folder Dobble Bottlepoo
I’m pretty sure that summoned a demon or something, but with no credits on this one I don’t know who to blame. Told via illustrated poem, a poet comes up with a poem that causes people to speak in gibberish, line in the second title. So there is some kind of magic involved, until Sam rather easily makes the poet come up with a counter poem to break the spell. That…was a story I just read. About all I can say for it.
“The Steel Helmets”
Eisner is back for the final story….wait, the senator from before is back? Shouldn’t he be in jail or at least impeached or something for his enslave 12 year old boys plot? He also has his army, the Steel Helmets from earlier, and has a new plan to divide the nation by where they came from. Surprisingly topical for March, 2026. Ruining Sam’s reputation he has to return to sky people and undergo a trial of poorly used symbolism (the monster of greed is just a regular monster for example) while Buddy gets the people to believe in him again so he can regain his full strength. It’s not as bad as the first story but I’m glad this is the villain’s last appearance.
overall
Most of the stories are okay but nothing really wowed me. Critically only the first story is a failure because it pushes the nonsense too far, while the rest is dumb fun. I can’t say I got into this comic much overall, though. Maybe next time we visit Uncle Sam and Buddy things will be better, but we’ll have to wait a while for the next issue.
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