Today’s Trade> I Hate Gallant Girl

I'd make a joke here, but I'm worried I'd tick her off.

I Hate Gallant Girl TP

(collects I Hate Gallant Girl issues 1-3 and All-Girl Comics #1)

Image Comics/Shadowline (November 2009)

Originally released as a 3-part miniseries, I Hate Gallant Girl is the story of Renee Tempete, who has always dreamed of winning the Gallant Girl competition and taking the title to fight alongside the Fellowship of Freedom. However, as Miss Maine she loses to Miss California. The super hero Blue Thunder takes a liking to Renee (not that way, she reminds him of his daughter) and after she proves herself in a battle on her own, helps Renee take on her own superheroine identity, Tempest. (Her powers are mastery of the four elements.)

What follows is a tale of deception as secrets behind the latest pageant are revealed, leading Renee to find love, happiness, and the truth behind Gallant Girl and the Fellowship that will challenge her childhood dreams.

Overall, it’s a fun story. I like the character Tempest and would hope to see more of her and her world. Unfortunately, what we get is Bomb Girl presents All-Girl Comics, what appears to be a one-shot set in the same universe. Something is causing men all over the world to become impotent. This especially ticks off Bomb Girl, a supervillainess that rules New Port City, where superheroes are not allowed (by order of the government) and features a population of “psychopaths, rapists, televangelists and worse”.

Because even the televangelists we can prove are bad people are at the same level as rapists and murders. That line was on panel 2, and I’m pretty sure that I would have put down the original comic as soon as I saw that.

If what you’ve already read doesn’t sound bad enough, our little Tempest loses a bit of her fire when teaming up with Dee Rail (a superhero who gets her powers from touching train rails–seriously), Blacklight (who can control dark matter and teleport), Rebound (girlfriend to Image superhero Shadowhawk with the powers of Marvel’s Speedball and the fashion sense just shy of the Suicide Girls) and Editor Girl (who can somehow rewrite the comic’s word balloons, despite not being a “break the fourth wall” comic). Oh, and the last member, Fetish, which considering the comic’s plot (if you want to call it that) should tell you all you really need to know about her.

What follows is a story where nothing makes any sense. Every step that eventually leads to how the “flaccid flu” comes about is impossible from a technological standpoint but also requires legal wranglings that make the Superhero Registration Act seem plausible, and even the writers don’t know what was in that. (At least it’s gone now.) Prepare to use the phrase “wait, what?” a lot on this one. Tempest really doesn’t get the good showing we see in I Hate Gallant Girl, and although there is a different plotter on this comic, its the same writer.

Also the same artist, although the art on All-Girl is a few steps below Gallant Girl. Not necessarily bad, but the quality is obviously reduced. Also, in both comics the art looks like it was stretched to fit the design of the book, which does nothing to help in either story.

If you ignore the “back-up” comic, I Hate Gallant Girl is a fun, enjoyable comic, and I recommend it to any super hero fan. However, you may want to either track down the individual issues or get your scissors ready. The back-up should be a victim of the supervillain it features.