Hot off of his success on the Batman franchise, Warner Brothers decided he might also be able to do something with Superman. Zack Snyder’s work on Watchmen earned him the director’s chair, and David S. Goyer has worked with Nolan in the past, including the aforementioned Batman films, as well as comics. Of course he wrote the rather infamous “Superman renounces his ties with America” story, Snyder also made Sucker Punch, a movie that (and one of my RU colleagues disagrees) looks like a total mess, not to mention that Watchmen is by design a cynical look at superheroes and classic tropes that have since been deconstructed into rubble, and Nolan’s list of film credits is limited in the “happy and bright” arena.

I will give them credit on one thing when it comes to Man Of Steel, however. It does look like a decent superhero movie. Being a good SUPERMAN movie, on the other hand, is a whole other story. Show me a trailer with Henry Cavhill in glasses and a somewhat frumpy suit acting mild-mannered and clumsy. Show me where they actual call him Superman instead of having Lois interrupted just as she’s about to say it? I’m even noticing that there are minor changes to the “S” shield. And then there’s video Sears put out that includes final proof that they’re not really making Superman. They’re making Man of Steel, and there is a difference.

First of all, and I know this isn’t new in post-comic Superman stories, but this nonsense that Kal-El was sent here to do great things and be a symbol to us lesser beings…BULLCRAP! Jor-El and Lara sent their last son to Earth from a dying planet. That’s it! He wasn’t sent here to conquer us, control us, lead us, inspire us or any of that. He was sent here to not be dead! If you want to add in information about Krypton to keep the memory alive, fine. But he isn’t here for some greater destiny that he hasn’t decided on and forged himself. He just happened to end up in the care of a kind couple with strong moral and good hearts. That’s why he’s Superman. That’s it. That’s all. You can all go home now and stop worrying about how he shaves. (Not kidding, that exists.) Why can’t this be enough?

I know we like to make Superman into Jesus Christ, but Jesus was sent here to break the chains of sin and remind us what sacrifice to God means. (We apparently still don’t get it.) He was sent for a purpose. Russel T. Davies tried to make the Doctor into Time Lord Jesus but it’s not something the Doctor was destined for. He fell into the role of hero of the universe over time. Optimus Prime in some continuities was chosen by the power of darnedifIknow to become the leader of the Autobots but having to die at least once a continuity doesn’t make him Jesus. My point is that Superman can simply be the last survivor of a dead world and that should be enough.

With that out of my system let’s get to Goyer’s comment, the reason this article was written:

Our approach was not a comic book Superman; it was just to do a more realistic Superman, a Superman that exists in the real world.

Why?

This realistic enough? With today’s power levels the man would be a smear on the wall.

No really, why? When has Superman ever been “realistic”? Even in the origin years, where his fights were like the one above, and his power level only more than human instead of godlike, Superman was plenty relatable. You know how?

CLARK KENT!

It’s Clark that makes Superman relatable. It’s Clark that brings in the “real world” as he associates with his friends as a human, not as the Man of Steel. The real world? This is how you need to modernize Superman? What’s next, are we going to set Sesame Street in the “real world”?

Super Grover’s been…BATMANED!

The sad part is I actually like the “Super Grover 2.0” costume.

Not everything has to take place in the “real world”, which by the way tends to be short hand for “grim, gritty, cynical, and moody”. I mean look at the trailers and footage from interviews. It’s not just the Man Of Steel costume that’s dark-colored. It’s like an eternal cloudy day in these clips. Metropolis is usually the polar opposite of Gotham City. Where Gotham is dark, Metropolis is light. Where Gotham is scary, Metropolis is hopeful. I’m not surprised that the MOS Trio don’t seem to realize this. Look at the most beloved of Superman films. No, forget that, let’s go the most recent one, Superman Returns.

For all of the faults this movie has, and plenty of people have pointed them out, Superman Returns still have sunny days, a visual sense of hope, and Clark Kent, reporter. While Man Of Steel has the epic part down, the tone is a complete 180 from what we’ve come to expect in a Superman story and there is a reason Superman has endured all of this time. All this talk about Superman needing an updating flies in the face of what I’ve seen. Every time they try to “update” or “modernize” Superman it doesn’t work. Yet anything that goes back to what made Superman work gets all of the praise. The most recent examples are All-Star Superman and every review/tweet I’ve seen about the Adventures Of Superman anthology.

You don’t modernize Superman, you modernize his world. Current technology, situations, even perspectives to a point should keep up with the times. The fun, the lightness, the science fiction elements, the fantastical, the adventure–I’m not seeing any of that from the main DC stories or from the upcoming “Superman” film. Even interviews are crediting Cavhill as playing “Clark Kent/Kal-El” and not Superman unless I missed one where he was.

And one last thought: I WANT TO SEE A COMIC BOOK SUPERMAN! This is based on a comic book. I want to see a comic book brought to life. Like The Avengers. Those were comic book characters that felt like comic books brought to life. It was “real world” enough for me, and since the Justice League of the comics acts more like the Avengers now it should be easy enough. I know that Hollywood and even (sadly) the people working on the Big Two’s comics these days seem to be less interested in making comics than using them to get jobs in the movies or getting their stories made into movies, but that just makes you idiots. AS someone who loves comics and wants to write comics if you’re going to make a movie based on a beloved comic book you better make it look like that world or just make an original tale with original characters and not screw up a change at getting a comic book movie or at least ruining a good story for its fans.

I am going to see this movie. I may even enjoy it, but I’ll be enjoying it by watching a superhero called “Man Of Steel” (or perhaps “Steel Man”), not by going to see a Superman movie. Because a Superman movie this isn’t.

Related articles

• Scanning My Collection: That Time Superman Teamed With Himself
• ‘Man of Steel’ Extended Featurette: The New Superman Explained (screenrant.com)
• BW VS. Cracked: Superman’s Only As Boring As The Person Writing Him
• Book Report: Superman “Which Way” book (clutterreport.wordpress.com)

Tell you what. That “featurette” that’s supposed to be 13 minutes long? I’ll go over it before the movie comes out and see what it does for me.