Since I started doing this article series I’ve learned fascinating origins of songs that I never knew the origins of. Country songs with ties to Norse mythology, bouncy tunes based on European musicals and operas. Backstories that took the sting out of what the subject seemed to be. I learned what “answer songs” are. It’s become one my most personally interesting features to do because I learn such unusual trivia while making it.
This turned out to not be one of those songs.
“Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” exists because co-writer Paul Vance saw his two year old in her bathing suit and somehow thought of a teenage(?) girl being too shy to come out in one. Two year olds don’t seem to be that shy. If anything I’ve seen parents trying to get their toddlers to NOT run around in underwear because the toddler is comfortable. Teenage girls, however, are just starting changes in their bodies and with that comes a bit of self-consciousness in many.
Vance and co-writer Lee Pockriss shopped the song around, getting turned down until offering it to Brian Hyland, himself sixteen at the time of release, which ended up as the single from his 1960 fittingly titled album The Bashful Blond. The novelty song, at a time when those actually got played on the radio during normal programming, went on to be a big hit for Hyland, had numerous covers, and had some guy claim to be the writer up to his death. So while there’s no amazing backstory, there’s still plenty to talk about, and it starts with the song’s story itself.
There’s certainly three acts, but no definite ending. How does she get out of the water? I guess that doesn’t matter for this silly little story, but my brain being wired the way it is I do wonder what coaxed her from the blanket to the water in the first place. For that matter, why wear such a small swimsuit if she’s this embarrassed? Did her friends make her? Was her mom progressive? Did she lose a bet? Where are her friends? Did she come alone? My brain seeks answers.
The song would popularise the formerly risque beachwear. You can see a bunch of them on the beach at every age group these days, some probably even smaller than what this poor girl’s bikini would have looked like in 1960. Some are so small you not sure at first glance she’s wearing anything. Then someone had the idea to make a version for men, the “mankini”. I’m no historian but I’m pretty sure the guy was shot, hung, and beaten within an inch of his life for it…or at least should have been. No change if it was a woman.
There are cover songs in numerous languages: Italian, French, German (with “Yellow Polka Dot” replaced with “Honolulu String” for some reason, possibly because the band was called Club Honolulu), as well as English covers by as diverse a cast as Connie Francis, Devo, The Muppets, Jimi Hendrix (yeah, I question that one, Wikipedia, even if it was just a snippet during a live performance), and Ray Stevens. Apparently in the 1990s Andrew Lloyd Webber even got into it when his wife bet him that he couldn’t form a great pop group to go with his musical theater success. He put together a band called Bombalurina, named after one of the characters from Cats, and they made their own cover.
I think she won the bet. What about you? I guess it hit the top of the UK charts. One of these days I’m going to learn where that “oh, yeah” comes from because this is not the only song of the period I’ve heard it used.
The last bit of interesting trivia is when some guy named Paul Van Valkenburgh claimed Paul Vance was his pen name and he co-wrote the song. He also told his wife he gave away the rights as a teen and somehow she didn’t question his financial choices. The lie was exposed when he died and Vance didn’t, though Vance was rich enough not to care and took it in stride once everyone knew he was still above ground. Today he isn’t sadly, but I wonder if they met up on the other side?
The song pops up in advertisements, background tracks, and 1960s nostalgia channels to this day. Not bad for a song that had to track down anybody to sing it. Sometimes you don’t know what will be successful. If you want more info than that, I point you to the last line of the song because I guess there isn’t any more.
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