What happens when you take bad writing, actors clearly chosen for looks over any acting skills, heavy-handed environmental commentary out of nowhere, and poorly animated pictures of birds that take until over half the movie before they start demicing? You get Birdemic: Shock And Horror, a movie that takes forever to reach the title and the only shock and horror you get is in the performances. It’s a movie you can only watch with three guys making fun of it the whole time. So tonight we have the Rifftrax thanks to the official YouTube channel starting to post old episodes and shorts.
Directed by James Nguyen (that’s what they call it anyway), the movie-by-legal-definition-only tells the tale of Rod, who is having everything going his way, if the viewer hasn’t even so much as taken a general business class in high school because clearly the writer didn’t. He made a big sale, the company’s stock has gone through the roof, and he’s retiring early to start selling solar panels, if he ever learns to say the words “solar panels” with any kind of annunciation. He also runs into a former high school classmate whose smoking hot and by the rules of this universe into him. Oh, and their friends were already sleeping together because. Nathalie is hoping that her new gig as a Victoria’s Secret model will someday lead to a big modeling career and if you understand why that statement makes no sense you’re one up on the creators. Yep, everything’s going his way for two-thirds of the movie. Then the poorly animated eagles attack, sending our heroes on a road trip in a movie obsessed with driving and parking. It only gets dumber from there if you can believe it.
The Live version of this Rifftrax is the only one I’ve been able to see in theaters so I thought I’d share the non-live version with the rest of you. (No struggles of put-upon traveling salesmen with a streak of bad luck that Charlie Brown would pity him for.) Note that includes a sex scene so tame I don’t mind showing you, and some swearing, mostly by the audience trying to make sense of any of this. My suggestion is don’t bother. Just let the soothing tones of Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy sooth your funny bone as you suffer through Birdemic: Shock And Terror…then wonder why this movie has sequels. SEQUELS! Yes, they’re working on a third one, which means there was a second one. Enjoy–ish.
As I said earlier, Rifftrax is posting old episodes to their YouTube channel, but you can find a bunch of them already on other streaming services, including a live-streaming channel on sites like Pluto TV. Of course, this is only for movies they have the rights to put these videos out for. If you want to hear Rifftrax for movies from studios who won’t let them do that, you can go to their website and download the riffs to play alongside the movie. For some films it may be the only way to watch them.