Do we not remember Jen only got her gamma radiation from a blood transfusion and not a large gamma bomb?

I’m becoming more and more convinced that the comic writers we have now over at the Big Two are just adding things to the comics in the hopes of getting them into their respective movies and television/internet shows. In the past few years we’ve had characters and events that are being used for the MCU for example while stories that became famous and even iconic are ignored or altered. When someone complains about the change made to the character, the defenders, especially but not limited to when social views are included, insists “but it’s in the comic”, probably after looking for the wiki about it because they may not actually read the comics. Otherwise the comics would be doing better. Instead the shows and movies are doing worse. That’s because they’re actually ignoring the iconography beyond surface-viewed symbolism.

What they fail to note is that (A) the ones complaining about it in the movie complained about it in the comics as well and (B) if you really want to go down that rabbit hole there are a lot of things that happened in the comics the defenders ignore when it suits them, like She-Hulk’s actual origin. Though if you really want to get into “this happened in the comics” there’s a lot of stuff that happens in the comics you wouldn’t want to see that they could do as well. Then if you complain, someone can say “but these happened in the comics”. Grab a parachute, Alice, because being sick meant I couldn’t do tonight’s planned story so we’re dropping down the rabbit hole…only instead of Wonderland we’re dropping face first into Blunderland.

Given what happened to Aunt Jemima I’m guessing you won’t want to race swap Lois after this one.

Lois Lane Turns Herself Into A Black Woman

Lois Lane will do anything for a story, even put herself into harm’s way because not getting in the line of fire somehow makes reporting on the firefight impossible. Granted her editor seems to have the same point of view, and you have to feel sorry for poor Jimmy Olsen having to deal with both of these people but there is a step too far. Or there should be, but not if you’re between Lois and the Pulitzer.

I Am Curious from what I’ve heard is about a black person using makeup to become white and see how the “other half” lives. There was a similar project in I think the 1990s or early 2000s by TBS. Well, Lois must have seen that movie and decided “if they can do it then it can’t be that stupid a plan” and used one of Superman’s alien doodads to turn herself into a black woman so she could write a news story about what it’s like to be a black woman in the 1970s. I know what the cover says but for Lois that trophy is that important. Important enough to make any intelligent person cringe but the DC universe is a weird place.

image source: DC Database

Kyle’s Girlfriend Names A Trope

In the pages of Green Lantern there came a time when Hal Jordan killed all the Green Lanterns DC couldn’t use elsewhere, leaving one Guardian to restart the Corp with one remaining ring. Lucky for Kyle Rayner he didn’t have to go to Mordor, but I’m sure he would have prefered it to supervillain Major Force, working for one of the kabillion shadow bureaus in the DC Universe government, killing his girlfriend Alex and shoving her dismembered body into the refrigerator just to mess with him.

This literally gave rise to the trope term “fridged” for when a usually female character is killed or raped in order to see the usually male character’s reaction. This isn’t where it started but it is where the name comes from thanks to writer Gail Simone. Does anyone want to see this happen again? What’s worse is that during the whole Black Lantern thing they reference this by having Alex being one of the not-a-zombie-I-swear Black Lanterns…STILL IN PIECES AND ATTACKING KYLE FROM INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR! That’s not just a failure to “read the room”, that’s going out of your way to piss the whole room off.

I don’t have an image of Sue in my library and I’m too sick/close to deadline to get one.

EVERYTHING That Happened To Sue Dibney In Identity Crisis

On a personal level I hate Identity Crisis just as a goal. To start converting the DC Universe into DiDio’s Darker DC, Editor-In-Chief Dan DiDio had Brad Meltzer write a story in which Sue Dibney, wife of the Elongated Man, is murdered. After numerous false leads they finally learn that the killer was Jean Loring, who was hoping to not only get back together with ex-husband Ray “The Atom” Palmer, but force the other heroes to spend more time with their loved ones, essentially trying to get rid of superheroes. Are we sure she wasn’t still under Eclipso’s control? While the death was unintentional and Ray should keep better security on his shrinking belt, what do you expect happens when you shrink to atomic size and dance on someone’s brain?

Oh but it got worse. During the course of the investigation it’s learned that the villainous Doctor Light (not to be confused with the heroic Doctor Light, which did actually exist) somehow made his way to the Justice League’s satellite headquarters years prior, found Sue alone while the League was on other missions, and raped her. That was already completely out of character for Light as was how the heroes reacted but we’re focusing on what happened to Sue. While I haven’t had a lot of past knowledge of Sue as I only have one or two stories in main canon featuring Ralph Dibney, other fans really liked her and her relationship with her husband, so killing her off and then adding in “oh yeah, she was raped so the heroes can be less heroic in their response” was a terrible thing to do. Do you want that in a movie or show? I didn’t think so.

Big Barda And Superman Almost Made A Porno Together

I’m just going to let Comics By Perch tell this one. Trying to go over it hurts my Superman-fan heart.

Yeah, that was a canon story. Now I’m sure there are plenty of women who want to see Henry Cavill buck naked but this isn’t the story you should want to see it in.

This is Carol giving the writers the finger in a comic that still pretends to let kids read it.

Carol Became An Alcoholic And Once Gave Birth To Her Own Rapist

In the comics Carol became an alcoholic after suffering numerous power and name changes over the years. That takes a toll on you and it certain did Carol. So when you bring up that Carol being Kree herself is from the comics, note that this was a retcon because they wanted Carol to “not need no man” in her origin. Originally she was infused with Kree DNA helping her boyfriend Mar-Vell, a Kree who decided not to be evil and became Earth’s champion as the “first” Captain Marvel not named Billy Batson. She’s had numerous powers over the years, as well as power sources like a binary star…somehow. I’m not as versed in Marvel as I am DC, which is why this list is so DC heavy. By the way one of those changes came from when the then-villainous Rogue absorbed so much of her power that she permanently took on Carol’s Kree powers and put Carol in a coma. This was actually addressed in an episode of the X-Men cartoon from the 1990s and never again. They took Rogue’s new powers away from her at some point even when Carol got new powers and then got her old powers back, which she has to this day.

However, everyone agrees the worst thing done to Carol, and probably everyone on this list including Sue Dibney, was Avengers #200, an attempt to get rid of Carol by giving her a happy ending as she goes off to nowhere with the man of her dreams…who is such a convoluted story I’m going to let Linkara handle this one. Yes, the video is long, about 40 minutes, but the story is that terrible. The short version is that someone in another dimension fell in love with Carol, took her to his dimension, impregnated her in the old fashioned way, put his spirit into the fetus so that he could be born in our dimension, and took Carol away to be with him, all in about 48 hours.

Not surprising a later writer would actually call out this story for how totally crap it is (watch the video if you somehow still don’t believe me) when Carol called them out for what is so obviously mind control. The saddest part is that this story had four writers, all of them great comic creators who names are legend for a reason and not a single one of them nor the editors seemed to realize this was a bad idea.

So I’m guessing this is the plot to the next Captain Marvel or Avengers movie, right? It was in the comics!

Just because something is in the comics doesn’t mean that was a good idea. Bucky was Captain America for a while, She-Hulk got a life-saving transfusion from Bruce, not just an oppsie during a car accident, and the only reason Nick Fury is black now is because the Ultimate universe based theirs on Samuel L. Jackson, the people making the MCU saw a way to get him into the movies to help sell the MCU, and Marvel Comics decided to drop the retcon bomb on the original white Fury by making him evil. So being in the comics isn’t enough of a defense…especially if the fans hated that move.


About ShadowWing Tronix

A would be comic writer looking to organize his living space as well as his thoughts. So I have a blog for each goal. :)

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