Why I’m Not Interested In The (Greenless) Lanterns Show

If you don’t follow my X-Twitter account, and I’m betting you don’t, I was considering watching the first episode of Lanterns. I’ll be honest, if I had the livestreaming thing going I might just for the conversation. Ultimately I decided that I really don’t want to watch it, and opted to pass. It’s rare I get to review something in my wheelhouse when it drops since so much is behind paywalls these days. We only have HBO Max because my dad wants access to Discovery’s programs (particularly shows like Restaurant Impossible and Moonshiners) as well as older movies, as he has less interest in new movies and shows than I do. I just turned 53 last month, so you can guess how old he is.

I do reject the recent idea that watching something you know is bad just to review it is somehow foolish or grifting. Meanwhile, even when I admit I’m going by reviews both praising and negative, or just the promotional material–the thing that’s supposed to get you excited for the project–, someone is going to complain that I didn’t watch it. What’s really going on, to me, is that some people don’t want to hear any negative reviews. Some reasons are understandable and some are just dumb, but that’s a discussion for another time.

As for this series, I read review from a site that would ordinarily be on the “hater” list say that on its own merits the show was okay, though it didn’t sound like it was the same genre as the source material. You know, the comics. Someone on X-Twitter even tried to defend the show from people upset that Hal Jordan was out of character by saying “this Hal is different”, and refusing to understand that’s the problem. The lore is wrong, the characters are wrong, the genre is wrong. I don’t even mind that the show isn’t set in space. That would be a serious budget issue for live-action and they’d never be as believable as they are in comics or cartoons because they’d try to make it realistic to match the live-action presentation. Animation’s benefit is that you can make a world that’s believable without being “real”.

Since the promotional material, the ads and interviews, are supposed to help you decide whether or not to watch something, it’s all done the exact opposite for me for a bunch of reasons. I don’t care that it’s good. It’s not what I’m looking for. Allow me to explain…otherwise why are you reading this?

I tried to lighten things up. Tried. Also, no pun intended.

First off the trailer above is the most sci-fi of any I’ve seen. Most of the promotion ignored what the ring actually does. Maybe they discussed flying. Maybe Hal had a force shield while a quarter of the town started shooting him. Maybe the Manhunters got a mention. That’s it. The focus has been on a gritty crime drama about a rookie believing he was the true owner of the ring and the veteran who wasn’t ready to give it up. The inspiration being True Detective rather than Green Lantern has dominated the discussion even before the show hit HBO Max from DC Studios, early access reviewers, and leakers.

I have never watched True Detective so I couldn’t even tell you how accurate that is. It could simply be describing the tone. I don’t even watch the lighter crime and cop shows, so I have no interest in that one. Tell me, then, why dropping aliens and a technomagic ring into the story is supposed to change that, no matter how “good” it is? We aren’t talking about the quality of the work. We aren’t even talking about the quality of the adaptation. I only have so much time in the day and have more to do than watch TV simply because it’s good. There are decades of TV shows, movies, comics, video games, audio and radio dramas, and new stuff being made all the time that I want to go through. By now I need more than “good” to get interested in something by now my tastes are pretty well defined. To get me out of my wheelhouse you have to make it interesting, and the promotion for this show doesn’t.

Remember when Marvel Studios was putting out good stuff people liked beyond some culture war reason? For example, Captain America: The First Avenger was a war story with a superhero in it, but it was set in a superhero world rather than just a war story with a superhero in it. The Iron Man and Avengers movies were the only fully superhero movies they produced. They were focused on the superhero side, which I don’t see these days. Even something fantastic, rare as that’s becoming, just happens to have a superhero in it and looks like it could be just average people within that world. The superhero part almost feels obligatory if they can’t get around it.

That’s what I’m seeing in DC stuff now under James Gunn, a man who likes his quirky ensambles with a hint of sci-fi. Lost people finding each other and doing stuff seems to be his trend from his Suicide Squad to his take on Peacemaker to even the Supergirl he supposedly only hired the lead actress for because he decides who brings the DC characters to live-action in his continuity. Lanterns might be closer to Matt Reeves’ style, and I’m not interested in his Batman and Penguin stories whether they’re good or not. They don’t match what I’m looking for. Reeves’ take on the Ridder is just as off the mark as Nolan’s praised take on the Joker, and I think that was just because the late Heath Ledger gave a good performance and then died around that time. In both cases I couldn’t see the characters as they appeared for years in stuff I loved. So I passed on The Batman and Dark Knight Rises for the same reason as Lanterns hasn’t earned my time.

The show couldn’t.

The lack of green is part of the issue. They’re trying to show off a bit more in more recent trailers in the rare moments Hal actually has the costume on (which isn’t supposed to be a set of clothes but something formed when the ring is “active”…it just doesn’t look like the one in the Green Lantern movie everybody but me seems to hate). However, everything is so dark, like the camera lens needs a cleaning. Sunlight is gone…again, the colors are darker and not vibrant…again, and nobody seems like a happy or good person…AGAIN! It’s this trend that really bothers me. The happier, brighter, more heroic setting is why I used to love DC Comics and the material that came from it. When Burton’s Batman movies are more fun to watch than yours, you aren’t doing the DC adaptation right, and they haven’t been for so very long, even in most of the comics. It just looks dull, and considering the Lantern lore is tied to colors, especially recently with the multicolored Lanterns and the “emotional spectrum” stuff I’m not really into, either (seems unnecessary), it’s a huge mistake.

If you want to watch it, fine. Go ahead. Apparently the show is okay on its own merits, which means it didn’t have to be a DC property at all. It looks and sounds like so much was changed it could be an original property, which would not have chased off fans and might have even gained you a few more as something original. Plus we could still get a proper adaptation down the road that might be more acceptable. That can’t happen while this show claims to be official Hal Jordan and John Stewart’s story. It’s also not the tone or style of show I gravitate to, so regardless of quality I probably wouldn’t be interested, and that’s okay. You don’t have to like something just because it’s “good”. You don’t have to hate something just because it’s “bad”. If there’s something you get out of it, watch it. If not, and you’re not chronicling the continued rewriting of every sci-fi and fantasy franchise you love into something unrecognizable to play to the “cool kids”, you don’t have to watch it.

All I know is that this show doesn’t interest me and since nobody pays to rag on crap for amusement and the hopes of someone fixing another downed franchise, I have other things to do. This is not the Green Lantern show I want to see. Neither was the CGI series of a few years ago. I have a right to spend my quality time the way I want, and my review time as well. I’m not against the negative reviews, and I’ll be one when I need to be. With this show there is no need, and no interest. That’s my whole statement on this. I can’t make you accept it, but that’s how I feel.